I thought I would share this with everyone because of what my wife and I have been going through this past month. We had been in the process of finding a facility for my mother in law Midge. If you have not gone through this it is quite an eye opener. It's not just going and checking out these facilities, who's patients just seem to lay around waiting to die, it is the feeling that you have failed your parents who raised you and taught you to do the right thing. But there comes a time when you just can't do what you want to do to keep your love ones safe. They just need more care then you are capable of giving. The moment I keep going back to was about a year ago and I was in the house with Midge ,she stopped me and said "please don't ever put me in a home", and I said that I would do what ever I could to not do that. But you never think about how things change and that she would need to be watched 24 hours a day. When I look into her eyes now it breaks my heart that I have failed. But we all must face reality and we have to think about how to keep our love ones safe from harm. With my wife it is doubly hard because she is her daughter and feels the most guilt. I know we are doing the right thing, but we still feel terrible.
Here is one of Midge's favorite songs by the Mills Brothers.
2 comments:
I know it's easy for me to say, but you guys did the right thing. You gave all that you could, and more, and its not your fault. I'll keep you all in my prayers.
Sometimes the hardest things to do are those that must be done and over which we have little or no control. They become especially difficult because we don't want to do them. I'm writing from experience and you know all too well what we went through.
Midge may or may not remember your pledge but I'm sure if there is a spark of her old self in her being, she would understand that you are doing what is right and necessary. Remember to love her and tell her you do frequently.
Most of all keep your patience and sense of humor and take care of yourselves. Trust each other, talk to each other and know deep in your heart that you are doing the 'right' thing.
We love you all!
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