As we get older everyone should be aware of their health. And this means going to the doctor for yearly check ups, which I do. And one of my favorite procedure is the colonoscopy. Yes folks the colonoscopy. I can remember my first exam. You never forget where you were the first time. It was like, for my generation, where you were when President Kennedy was shot. Before I made the appointment I discussed it with friends who had a colonoscopy, and everyone that I discussed this with said that it was a pain in the ass.
The day of the exam was like any other day, except for my awareness of my butt. The doctor gave me a mild sedative to calm my nerves in the morning of the procedure. So on the way to the hospital I was calm as I could be. I guess the half bottle of Tequila helped as well. Just kidding boys and girls. Well any who I arrived at the hospital and was prepped for the procedure. That means getting into one of those hospital gowns. I was complaining about the front being wide open until the nurse said that I had it on backwards. Just a little nervous. Before wheeling me into the room for the exam I was given a pill, it was to knock me out. As I was laying on the table everyone around me was getting prepared for the procedur, but my concern was that I was still awake. I asked one of the nurses " shouldn't I be knocked out"?
The last thing I remember was her saying that sometimes it doesn't work for all people.
I woke up in the recovery room with a giant arrangement of flowers, box of candy and a card all from my doctor. The card asked if it was as good for me as it was good for him. Did I have a colonoscopy or a date. Oh well what ever. The upside to the exam was that I was in good health. A added bonus was that the doctor had found a tin whistle I had lost as a child.
First rule that a Proctolgist learns is not to put their fingers into his mouth.
For information on who should have this exam go here.
3 comments:
Ah yes, the wonderfulness of a colonoscopy.
Being of about the same age as you and getting good medical care has resulted in my suffering the indignity of this procedure several times. My personal physician (and acknowledged sadist) suggested I have an endoscopy done at the same time as the colonoscopy.
I had the same sedative and anesthetic as you and made the mistake of asking the doctor the order in which he would do the procedures. The last thing I remember before becoming unconscious was him saying he expected to “go in from both ends until his hands met in the middle”.
I guess it’s good that those weird and strange kids who never had any friends get to grow up and become doctors … where they continue to be strange and weird, but make lots of money while getting back at the rest of the world!
And I didn’t get any flowers.
I'm so glad I got to read this while I was having my breakfast!
Please note, they don't allow breakfast before the procedure.
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