My Spin Instructor Is Trying to Kill Me

This is all about my Monday morning spin class. The instructor, lets call her Amy(that's not her real name, because if I used her real name and she found out it would be real bad for me and for the others in the class),is a great instructor. She makes the class so interesting with her music and spin routines. And she is a real motivator. She keeps on pushing us to get better and to really put our hearts and bodies into her routines. She yells at us all the time "COME ON YOU M F'en SLACKERS" don't make me get of this bike! And when she does get off her bike and singles you out, watch out. She'll give you a good pink belly. But she does this because she cares. One other time she took all the seats off the bikes for the full class so there was some real pain involved when you got exhausted. But that taught us the proper position. And for me really it was only one visit to the proctologist. No harm done. The best part of spin class for me is the standing surge. Now with Amy, you had better keep up with her or, she'll bring out Mister cattle prod, she calls it Stingy, to help motivate you. And you know what, the two burn holes go away in a couple of days. And it really does give you the push that as she says you need to better yourself. Oh I almost forgot,she has us call her Master for some reason. And if you don't refer to her as Master she gets really mad. I'm just thinking about our next class. Amy said we need more motivation so she is hooking up some sort of wires up to our bike seat. She said we will pick up about another 15 mph on our speed. Oh boy I can't wait.