Tennis is suppose to be a gentlemen game. Well you wouldn't know it if you played with the people I play tennis with. In the last two weeks I have been hit by at least 7 or 8 different people. My wife is always asking me were I am getting all of these 3 inch round black and blue marks all over my body. And the spot that is getting hit the most is in the nether regions, enough said. My voice has gone up 3 octaves since I started playing tennis. I'll never forget the look on the sales persons face when I asked for a protective cup. The clerk asked if I am playing softball , and when I said it was tennis he looked at me a little strangely. Last night I was hit in the leg and my own partner hit me in the head, my own partner. I am starting to wonder if this group is full of really bad players or if they are sending me a message. I also think they may not like my high pitched voice.
Here is a couple of bloopers.
3 comments:
Willie:
Have you considered Badminton?
Even a pro would be hard pressed to hit a birdie with enough force to cause damage. The rackets are flimsy and the game pace is slower. You could still wear your tennis “whites” and keep score as if it was tennis.
However, if you’re playing with a bunch of sadistic fiends, you have greater problems then the sport you choose. Chess games have led to violence, crossword puzzles use sharp pointy pencils, but maybe Yoga would work? (is Yoga a sport?)
Or you could come up with really creative reasons for your injuries. (“I got these bruises saving a poor helpless baby that was left out in a freak hail storm . . . yes the hail was the size of tennis balls!”)
Your always thinking Jack, I like that. Hail is a very good excuse or how about being plucked from the sea by a giant octopus that left these round marks from it's suction cuped tentacles.
Yeah, an Octopus would be good or a giant Squid (remember the movie "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea”?).
I like where this is going. The Maine coast has had a nautical theme for centuries and a good seafaring yarn is a lot more interesting then a bad tennis date. (Can you integrate a harpoon into the story?)
And as for needing a protective cup, when you go up against Sea Monsters and entire suit of body armor is an acceptable precaution. (Did you see Batman, the Dark Night?).
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