Yesterday I did not attend Evils spin class because I was a little under the weather. It all started with your pal winning a water bottle from Evil as a gilt gift, because of the Burl Ives mix up, in spin class. Inside of the bottle were these little pellets of candy, and there was the problem. Because of me ingesting these candies I have a rare ailment, jelly bean fever. It is caused by eating too many jellybeans. The symptoms are a slight upset stomach but the most unusual symptom is that your solid bodily waste is encased in a hard candy shell with multicolor variations. It's like Easter basket in the commode. I know it is kind of gross, but I just had to tell my story. So be careful Easter is coming up and that is jelly bean season. You are so warned.
2 comments:
Hi Willie,
We missed you yesterday. We all thought it strange that you were signed up and ultimately a "no show". We had a full class, even sold your bike to Kristi when you weren't there by 8:15. I, however, offered to graciously teach off the bike if, by chance, you stumbled in late. But it didn't happen and you missed a fun class. I should have known it was because of the poison Jelly Belly's...
Oh come on Willie...Do you really think I would try to harm one of my students? Especially a pathetic whining old fart like you? :-) No,no, no - not me!!! Actually, those special beans are supposed to ENHANCE your performance ( I should clarify "athletic ability") by providing much needed electrolytes and carbs during your workout. So if you actually read the label, you would see that I was actually trying to HELP you withstand the workout a little better as I have been noticing you've been slacking off a little lately. It was my way of slipping you a little extra boost on the side without any one knowing. But you blew it. You ate them during the week. Wrong time: therefore, wrong result!
I hope you will take care of your colorful GI disfunction/ailment in time to attend tonight's class. Dr. Evil recommends chugging two bottles of Pepto Bismol to ward of the sickness. I hope you feel better Willie. It would be a real bummer to miss 2 in a row.
Later,
Amy
Willie,
Showing up tonight is a "must" because Mary, Dede and I will NOT be in attendance and we MUST NOT allow the interlopers to take over...and Dr. Evil is right about that Pepto Bismol thing...in addition to curing you, the bright pink color should help to offset those special bright jelly bean colors you ingested.
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