My Life on the Couch -Part One-The Begining

My life on the couch started off rather like any other day. Spin class on Saturday morning, nothing out of the ordinary. The class went great, I even broke my own personal record of 166 heart beat rate. So I was running on all cylinders. But as soon as I got home, climbed out of my truck, I started to shiver. And so it began. Into the house and on with the sweatshirt, on with the wool socks, and slip into my Simpson flees PJ bottoms(7 dollars at TJ Maxx). Head for the couch grab the pillow, grab the, blanket and start to build your nest, or command post if you will, which will be your home for the next couple of days.
Now I start to pack myself into my cocoon blanket, like a butterfly larva. I am now starting to warm up. In about 5 minutes, I am hotter than a pot of neck bones. And then five minutes later I am colder than a well digger's ass before global warming. I finally get to sleep for a hour or two, wake up and naturally reach for the TV remote, still feeling like crap. I make the rounds, all 150 channels, get disgusted and stop on HGTV. I now know how to punch up my bathroom with color. Back to sleep.
One hour later my wife is sticking a temperature probe into my ear, and is saying I have a temperature of 300 degrees. I said either call the doctor or flip me over and base me with butter. Turns out she had not read the instructions correctly, I did have a fever but it was not that bad. She put down the phone and dropped the turkey baster.

Most of the rest of the day I just slept and munched on dry crackers and drank warm Coke. Yum, I get hungry now just thinking about that meal. Any who I did not die that night. I forgot to say that I added another pillow and a blanket to my nest. It will be a small city soon.