Some of Rodney Dangerfield's one liners:
My wife's not too smart. I told her, our kids were spoiled. She said, "All kids smell that way."
My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Why, her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment