I Now Hold the Power of God..........I think

Well, if you are hanging around me and you either are having a heart attack or if something is lodged in your throat and cannot breath, I am now your only hope.......scary huh. That's right, I am now fully authorized "Professional Rescuer". This past Saturday I spent 7 hours learning life saving techniques. And if you are a rubber baby or a rubber half person with no ears, arms I am your man. These were tools used to show the proper procedures in preforming CPR and AED use.

The class, 6 women and your pal, was really good, with only a couple of annoyances for me. And one of them is that there always seems to be one of these types in every meeting that I have ever been involved in. And it's the person who asks a million questions while we are all tyring to move right along and get out a little early. And in this class it was a nurse who kept saying "Well when I was nursing we use to"...... do this or that. Oh my god shut the hell up and lets move on. I mean,she had maybe a hundred questions or comments. She reminds me of a guy I use to work with, Bernie Gatyas. A nice enough guy, but every time we had a meeting he would prolong it with question after question. The rest of us just wanted to get the corporate cheer leading over with and get back to work. And that just what this women was doing, dragging every thing out.

The last part of the class was in the proper use of the AED or automated external defibrillation device. The instructor had two of the devices, and I was looking forward to hooking up the nurse with all the questions, but to no avail, they were just demonstrator's................dam.

At the end of the class there was a written test and that's when I started to sweat. The last time I took a test was in Mrs.Needer's English class in high school. Plus with my ADD working over time it was going to be touch and go.

Example:
Instructor: "This is the proper way to attach the pads to use the AED."

Your Pal: Attach pad to one side of the chest.........I wonder if you could make a toasted cheese sandwich with this thing.

So I took the test and pasted and I am now looking high and low for a heart attack victim or someone who is choking, I need the practice. Just kidding, I hope that I will never have to use this knowledge..........Hmmm I wonder if I could use this on myself.........I wonder?