A Few Facts for Sara Palin

I am here to help Sara Palin out with some American history that is not widely known.

1.It was not Christopher Columbus who discovered American but his younger brother Sid Columbus.  He  was trying to expand his bagel shops to other country's and landed in the West Indies.

2.The pilgrims did not land on Plymouth rock in 1620. They first landed in New Amsterdam (which would later become New York). While exploring the city they turned around quickly and made their way back to their ship.They had inadvertently passed through the fashion district and were mocked and harassed for wearing  brass buckles on their hats ands shoes which  was so 15th century.

3. Paul Revere did not, in 1775, ride his horse through Lexington and Concord to alert the populous that the British were coming. He road a tricycle, he had no sense of balance and could not ride a bicycle, to warn the people. Another little known fact was that he had attached a trading card (Ben Franklin) on the front  fender support that would rub on the spokes of his bike and make a sound like a motorcycle, which would not be invented till 1867. What  knuckleheads those colonist were.

4.John Wilkes Booth did not kill president Lincoln. He did attempted to assassinate the president at Ford Theater, but missed his target. President Lincoln was just filling his mouth with popcorn when Booths shot flew pass his head.  This caused the president to choak on the popcorn. Since there was no Heimlich maneuver he died. His staff thought that it would be better to tell the people that the assasin had killed the president rather then the popcorn.  It sounded a lot better.