Happy Thanksgiving 2011

George Carlin
"On Thanksgiving at our house we like variety, so we don't have turkey every year. Last year we had swan. It was nice; everyone got some neck. Another year we had seagull. Delicious! It's a little fishy, but at least there's no need to add salt. . . This year we're expecting a few people over, so we're having flamingo. And I'm getting the leg that folds up. They say the meat is sweeter and more tender because the flamingo doesn't use it much."


Jon Stewart
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Johnny Carson
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.