Celebrity Sighting

Last night as I was leaving the tennis facility in Rockport,I was standing at the desk, running my mouth as usual, and what do my wondering eyes should appear,but a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer. Just kidding, it was John Travolta. That's right Vinnie Barbarino himself. I have been hearing for years of Travolta sightings in the area. He and his family have a home on the island of Ilseboro, or as the Penobscot Indians called it Pitaubegwimenahanuk.

Any way as soon as I spotted him I yelled out "Hey Barbarino, for get about it." He just look at me like I was some kind of a nut,your pal a nut no way. He then just turned away and ignored me. Well I don't give up that easily.

"Hey Bud where is Sissy?" A reference to his urban cowboy movie role.

He did not even turn around. Now I am getting a little annoyed, so I pull out the big guns.

I screamed "Hey Tony Manero, would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair."

Oh baby I am on a roll now, he has to come over and talk to me. He just turned around and stared at me for a good long time. So I pull out my favorite scene from 'Get Shorty'. So I yelled even louder "Hey Chili Palmer remember these lines!"

Let me explain something to you. Momo is dead. Which means that everything he had now belongs to Jimmy Cap, including you. Which also means, that when I speak, I speak for Jimmy. E.g., from now on, you start showing me the proper fucking respect.

"E.g." means "for example". What I think you want to say is "I.e.".

Bullshit! That's short for "ergo".

Ask your man.

To the best of my knowledge, "e.g." means "for example".

E.g., i.e., fuck you! The point is this: is that, When I say "jump", you say "OK", okay

That did it, he comes charging at me with this crazy look on his face, not the Bubble Boy look, but the look from Broken Arrow, kind of crazy. He leaps on my back and we are now wrestling on the ground. A crowd is starting to surround us as he grabs my neck and is chocking me. I am starting to lose consciousness, when someone pulls Travolta off of me. As I stagger to my feet I look him in the eye as he is being held back all red faced and mad as hell and say "Can I have your autograph?".

All that is not what happened. Travolta did come to the tennis center last night but I did not say a thing to him. I don't bother celebrities, I think they need their privacy and would never approach one. But if I was that type of person, I hope it would play out like my story. That would be something.