This is a Vacuum

On Friday I purchased the Bissell FeatherWeight Vacuum. It works great and it was a good purchase. The vacuum came with a instruction manual and as I was thumbing through it I kept thinking this manual was made for a South American lost tribe that had just been discovered and had no knowledge of the modern day world.

A couple of the warnings:

Do not leave vacuum cleaner unattended when plugged in. Do not pick up flammable materials (lighter fluid, gasoline, kerosene, jet fuel, hydrogen fuel and liquid oxygen oxidizer) or use in the presence of explosive liquids or vapors. Da.

Do not use to hammer a blasting cap.

Do not carry the vacuum while it is running and caring scissors at the same time. Do not use vacuum cleaner in an enclosed space filled with vapors given off by oil base paint, paint thinners, some moth proofing substances, flammable dust or other explosive or toxic vapors, hydrogen cyanide; carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide.

Do not use vacuum while under water.

Hold vacuum in hand not shoved up your ass.

Power Cord Storage Turn vacuum off. Unplug power cord by grasping the ploarized plug (Do not use your teeth.). NOT the cord, and disconnect from outlet.

So take note Tano and Aruak tribes you have the warnings.

Toastmaster 1119 Coffee Grinder

I just purchased the Toastmaster 1119 Coffee Grinder, because the one that we had gotten about two weeks ago broke. We had a Braun coffee grinder for about 15 years, and it worked great, but finally broke down, and that is when I purchased the one that lasted two weeks. I don't use the coffee grinder to grind coffee, I mostly use it to make bread crumbs. So we are not taxing these machines all that much.

What I was amazed at was that the Toastmaster 1119 Coffee Grinder came with a use and care guide that was about 12 pages long, in English and Spanish. Now this grinder has one button that you push down to operate. I need six pages of instruction to figure out that I press the only button on the thing. And I just love the instructions, like "Remove all packaging materials before using." Thank god they wrote that, because I was going to cut a small hole in the box, pull out the cord and plug it in. And they also remind you about 45 times that "The blades are sharp!" Do tell.
If I was writing the instruction manual for the Toastmaster 1119 Coffee Grinder it would be written on the back of a file card. Plug in then press button. Enough said.

PS I just have to give you this clip from SNL from Saturday.