Good Bye Boca Ratoians Vacation 5

Finally we are getting out of Dodge. We had great weather, if your idea of great weather is vacationing on the sun, all week. So we are packing for the flight home and now our clothes don't fit in the suitcases. What happen did our things suddenly expand, or has my wife cleaned out every shopping mall in town. I think the mall clean out is the cause. Well any how we loaded the car up, and off we go to Palm Beach airport, after we dropped off our rental car. They needed the car right a way, because there was going to be a big demolition derby show that night, and they had to paint the numbers on the doors.

We arrive at the airport, check our expanding bags and head for security. We get through with no problems and finally reach the waiting area for our flight. I was a little nervous because we had only 40 minutes to make a connection in Philadelphia, for the flight to Portland Maine. But we boarded on time and as we pulled away from the terminal to get in line for take off, the pilot announces that we will be delayed for a while because of traffic in Philadelphia. That's when I put my head between my knees and started to breath heavily. We are never going to make the connections in Philadelphia.

We finally take off and the, you can take your seat belt off sign come on. I always keep my seat belt on the whole flight. Why you ask. I'll tell you, because if the plane every had a quick loss in altitude, and you were not buckled in. Well my friends you would either smash your head on the ceiling or push your head right through the top of the airliner. Just like what happens to the Three Stooges when one of them hits a bump in a car. So there is a little airline safety lesson for you boys and girls.

We landed in Philadelphia with about 20 minutes to spare till our connecting flight took off. Of course everything started to go wrong. The first thing was that someone in the front of the plane decided that a steamer trunk would be ok to be a carry on, and was taking her sweet old time trying to extricate this giant suitcase out of the overhead. They finally get the so called carry on out and we are heading up the ramp to the terminal and my mother-in-law has to go to the bathroom. Now I don't want to say that my mother-in-law takes alot of time in the bathroom. But one time she went in a bathroom as a 72 year old and came out a 73 year old. My wife takes her to the nearest restroom as I look for the wheelchair that was suppose to be waiting for us as we got off the plane. No wheelchair. I look around and there are about 3 people who need wheelchairs also. I ask one of them what happened, and they said a mix up had accrued and that they would be sending a cart to pick us up and drop us at our gate. So now I am really sweating we now have about 15 minutes before we are suppose to board. No cart and no wife and mother-in-law. Somebody please help me. Just then the cart arrived and my wife and mother-in-law emerge from the lady's room. It's a frigging miracle. So we all hopped on the cart and off we go to our gate, which it turned out to be quite a walk. We now have about 8 minutes and my head ia about to explode. We are dropped off at our gate, and we rushed up to the counter with our boarding passes. And the women says "Oh your flight is delayed, and it will not take off for another hour and 45 minutes". Yes boys and girls, life is a bitch sometimes and then you die.

While we are waiting everybody decides that we are a little hungry. That small packet of kibbles and the half glass of water served on the plane, just wasn't that filling. There was a little food court right next to our gate, so I walk over and pick out some tempting treats that we would all enjoy. But when I give the girl behind the counter my debt card she says "Credit car machine is down we only take cash". I reach in to my pocket and pull out 37 cents, this is not good. The 37 cents was the total cash we all had at the time. So me being the hunter gatherer of the group I am off to find food that you can purchase with a credit card. One hour later having walked 17 miles to find a working credit card machine. I returned with 2 slices of cold pizza and a philly cheese steak that the cheese had coagulated. And they only cost me 35 dollars.

We get on our flight to Portland and it is a wonderful flight, short and no problems. And one of the best things was that we had our bags and were in our car with in 15 minutes of landing. And it only took us 8 and 1/2 hours to fly from Florida to Portland. If I ever want to go one vacation again, somebody please shoot me.