Spin Class Passed Gas

Cue announcer: Tonight a little secret that has never been reveled before and we will be reveling it. tonight.
Film of a spin class with a snappy bassline dominated song is being played in the back round.
The music fads as the announcer starts talking:One of the most disgusting of subject will be talked about tonight. And I'm talking about the passing of bodily gasses, or farts as they are known on the street. And not in the privacy of your home or car, but in spin class of all places. Yes good evening everybody I'm Barkey McSnowzer and I will interviewing a spin class participant about this growing problem. He will be shrouded in black so no one will be able to see his face. Lets get started.
Barkey...Mr X if that is your real name. Why don't you tell us when you first noticed this problem.

Mr X...Well Barkey, the first time was while we were doing floor exercises after spin. I had just completed a reverse crunch and the instructor said to pull your knees to your chest. And then that's when it happen.

Barkey...Go on Mr. X.

Mr X...It just slipped out I didn't want to happen it just did. I'm so sorry.

Barkey...Take it easy Mr. X . Just slow down and give us the facts. What slipped out?

Mr X...Gas, you know from back there. I couldn't help it. One minute there was nothing and then there was this horrible sound. Like air escaping from a balloon . I started coughing to try to cover up, I don't think anybody heard it.

Barkey...Was there any odor associated with the gas?

Mr X...I don't know . I did not smell anything, but you never know. I thought I noticed the women next to me knees buckling but I don't know if it was because of my my gas leak.

Barkey...So has this happen anymore since then?

Mr X...Just 2 times and it is always when I am pulling my knees to my chest . I have been trying lately to simultaneously squeeze my cheeks together and pull my knees to my chest. But I keep getting a full body cramp.

Barkey...A full body cramp?

Mr X...Yes Barkey. You end up with your body looking like Joe Cocker for about 30 seconds. It's very painful.

Barkey...I can imagine. So what are you doing now to combat this problem? I'm talking about the gas problem.

Mr X...Well Barkey , I try with all of my might to stop it before it happens but if it happens it happens. What can I do. I am trying to bring this problem out in the open so that people like me, the occasional gas passer ,don't feel we are all alone.

Barkey...I understand that you started a orginization to help people with this spin class problem.

Mr X...Yes its called FAPT. Farters are people too.

Barkey...Well thank you Mr.X for bringing this problem to the forefront.

Mr X...Thanks Barkey.

The lights fade out and the credits roll. The End.