What the Story Should Have Been

Here is the real story:


A Fort Fairfield teenager who got lost while snowmobiling on Square Lake northwest of Caribou has been rescued by game wardens who found him curled up in the woods in 10-degree weather.

The Maine Warden Service says 19-year-old Lyman Messer was fading in and out of consciousness when wardens Gary Sibley and Adrian Marquis found him early Thursday morning after following snowmobile tracks.

Messer was wearing a wool pea coat, a T-shirt, shorts and boots. After Sibley gave Messer his snow pants and Marquis wrapped him in blankets, the wardens drove him by snowmobile for 45 minutes to an awaiting ambulance on the closest plowed road.

Messer was treated for frostbite at a Fort Kent hospital.

A friend had notified the Warden Service Wednesday night when Messer failed to return from a snowmobile ride.



Here is what the story should have been:


A Fort Fairfield teenager who got lost while snowmobiling on Square Lake northwest of Caribou has been rescued by game wardens who found him curled up in the woods in 10-degree weather.

The Maine Warden Service says 19-year-old Lyman Messer was fading in and out of consciousness when wardens Gary Sibley and Adrian Marquis found him early Thursday morning after following snowmobile tracks.



Messer was wearing a wool pea coat, a T-shirt, shorts and boots. Warden's were so pissed off at this knucklehead for dragging them out of their warm homes, and that he had been so stupid to go out in 10-degree weather with a T-shirt and shorts, that they left him lying in the snow in the fetal position until his testicles fell off.