Tiger Woods has just won the US open at Torrey Pines Golf Course in San Diego California. As I was watching the match I was wondering how I would play on this course and what the announcers would comment on my game.
OK on the first tee ready to tee off is Uncle Willie who is playing his first US Open. And we can not figure out how or why he ever got to play in this tournament. Well any way he tees the ball up and takes a couple of practice swings and steps up to the ball. The crowd grows quite as Uncle Willie gets ready to swing. He brings the club back and let go with a mighty swing. Oh my god he has just pulled the ball directly left into the crowd. I don't know how many people are on the ground injured. Oh the humanity. The medical staff is attending to the injured, as Uncle Willie is looking for the a ruling on the unplayable ball that has been lodged in one of the spectators forehead. The marshals has told him to drop it two club lengths away from the injured bystander. Uncle Willie drops the ball and gets ready to hit his second shot. It looks like a 3 wood as he addresses the ball for his second shot at the par four 448 yard first hole. He asked the marshals to cover the mouth of the injured spectator because the screeming is interfering with his concentration. The back swing and the follow thru and that is the biggest slice I have ever seen here at the open. That's got to be out there at least 200 yards onto the 5th fairway. I have to say it again that it was some slice.
We are now on the 5th hole and all of the spectators between Uncle Willies ball and the first green will have to be moved. Uncle Willie is set up for his 3rd shot. There is the swing and he has hit a worm burner about 40 feet. You don't see that out here too many times.
He is now hitting his fifth shot if he drops this in the hole, which will be virtually imposable, he will have a bogey. He take a swing and its a beautiful shot heading towards the green, oh no he has hit a tree and the ball has ricocheted back at him and passes him by 20 yards. God this guy stinks
. And right now the officials are escorting him off the course, thank goodness. We are all safe again.
I think it would be a ratings giant.
1 comment:
My Dad taught me how to play Golf at a young age.
I remember this like it happened yesterday:- As soon as I was old enough, Dad took me out on the Golf course. I was excited to be playing, and as you do, I looked up to the old man and thought he was bulletproof.
First hole, he pulls out the big bertha fairway wood, lines up his shot, and has an almighty swing. The ball went straight up into the air, about 20 metres or so (say 50 feet for those people from the only country on the world to use imperial instead of metric) and landed right next to his feet.
So we laugh about the improbability of this and he has another crack. This time the only difference was the ball didn't land at his feet, but about 10 metres directly to his right.
3rd time lucky is the cry as he has another go. This time he connects hard, slices the ball, and narrowly missed hitting someone on the next fairway.
A bit shaken, he decided to revert to irons only, and tells me to do likewise...
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