Staying With My Dad

Staying with my father in Florida is a real experience in how the other half lives. I have learned that a visit of no more than three days is the maximum stay, as any more then that will plunge you into the depths of insanity. Let me say that I love my father, but we cannot be in the same place for more than a couple of days. An example of that is, I have learned over many years to not discuss politics, as he is very conservative and believes everything that is said on Fox is the real truth. And he loves Sean Hannity. I on the other hand am liberal and think almost all things on Fox are crazy and nutty and not to be believed. And I think Hannity is a jerk.

My father think that the inside of his home should be about the same temperature as the outside. While we were visiting him the temperature outside was about an average 97. The house was about 96 degrees, or about the same temperature as the Republic of Congo. The first thing I did when I walked through the door was head right for the ac control and adjust. For the next three days it was a battle of thermostat adjustments. When I when out for anything he would raise the temperature. I on the other hand would lower the temp every time he would leave the room. It was a battle to see if he would freeze or I would melt. Some of the other problems with the stay are that my father thinks that his septic system will explode if you take too many showers. Sun light is bad. I now know how living in a cave would be. Don't wash the dishes too much, septic problem again. And last but not least the house alarm. You cannot open a door without hearing two beeps and every door is locked at all times. For two days I kept grabbing the door knob and running face first into the locked door. Oh and don't go out to get the paper in the morning, you will be locked out in a split second.

Let me say again that I love my dad very much and I do enjoy being with him, but not for more than three days.