My wife and I will be driving to New Jersey to attend a couple of graduations and a confirmation. One of the special parts of the trip will be the drive. Not the drive itself but the interaction between my wife and I. She hates the way I drive and I can't stand the way she drives. So when I drive it's "Are you going to drive up that person ass". "Are you trying to get to New Jersey in 2 hours, slow down". She is constantly hitting the imaginary break pedal every 5 minutes. "Are you ever going to get out of the left lane"? One of her survivor techniques is to fall asleep for 7 hours.
Now when my wife drives I am the teacher, I am showing her the correct way to drive. "You should always keep 1 car length for every 10 mph you are traveling". Or one of my favorites is "Look ahead about a 1/2 mile, you can avoid a lot of trouble by doing that". "Hands should be at 10 and 2 on the wheel". And the peace de resistance is when I say " I know what I am talking about I was a professional driver". That is the topper. Nothing will bring the red face of rage to my wife's face quicker that that phrase. I often wonder what people in the cars around ours are thinking when they see to adults screaming at each other for about 100 miles. But we do get to our destination without any blood being shed.
4 comments:
Hey Willie.....
When are you getting back? I am just catching up on reading your posts and a few of them I must say are more off color than usual...we need to put some type of PG rating on your blog. Anyhow we are all not ignoring you so you can stop crying now. We do abuse you every spin class even tho you are not present so you should be relieved for that. The problem is some of us have to work and so it gets in the way of the extra curricular reading.
Anyway stop your whining, enjoy your vacation (altho it really doesn't sound like much of one...especially for your wife) and talk to you when you get back.
Mary
Mary,
You can't tell Uncle Willie to stop whining. Then he would have nothing to write about.
Hi Willie,
We have REALLY been missing you...no more smart, whiny comments to the Evil Spin Goddess in regards to her spinning workouts from hell, no more spinning posts to read about...life is crap without you here in the midcoast...just when, exactly, will you grace us with your presence again??? I don't know if we can hold out much longer--just the other day Mary and Dede were plotting to see which one would replace you as the ultimate leader of spin class maneuvers...please come home, Willie--I am afraid of them (not to mention the Evil Spin Goddess and her carefully contrived spinning tortures...)
Your worried friend, Heidi
Have no fear I will return on Monday with many stories of my experience's in the south. Just hold on for a couple of more days.
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