Trick and or Treat

Trick or treat. Yes it is Halloween and when I was a kid it was a close second to Flag day. I am just fooling ya about flag day, but Halloween was the greatest. For a couple of hours of knocking on someones door and receiving candy, can it get any better. (The one downside is that my mother dressed me up as a girl one year, I am still in therapy for that act.) But any who we all carried pillow chases to carry our loot in, and nine times out of ten we would fill them and go back out for more. And a rule back in the day was that we would only trick or treat at night. We would stay out till most of people would start yelling at us, after ringing their bell, "Get the hell off my porch you little bastard." That was sure sign from the Halloween gods to rap it up.

At home, my brother and I would go over our loot, discarding any and all fruit. Adding these people, the fruit people, to the stay away from their house list. Next I would divide my candy into different categories: The A candy which consisted of whole chocolate bars. This stuff was off limits to everyone except your pal. B candy was just a step below and if I was feeling really generous I would allow you to have a piece. And then there was the C group, this group, which usually hung around till Christmas nobody liked. It was one step above of fruit.

I really loved Halloween and so did my dentist.

Unfair and Unbalanced Fox News

I caught this on the Internet and it is Megan Kelly, from Fox's American Election, interviewing Bill Burton, a Obama spokesperson, about how Fox is spreading misinformation about Mr Burton' s candidate, Senator Obama. After watching the clip I will list the segments I watched on Fox's American Election on Tuesday. You can make up your own mind if it is fair and balanced.



OK, I could not watch the whole show because my blood pressure was starting to rise. So here is what I had seen.

First story was about what a Democratic majority would be like. The only person to comment was a Republican with no rebuttal from the fair and balanced hosts.

Second was a story about the justice department saying that there will not be lawyers at polling venues. The only spokesperson was a Republican who stated that the people who changed the rule gave money to the Obama campaign. At the end of the interview the women did mention that some of the justice people gave to McCain. But it was not the same amount of money.

Third story was about Joe Biden gaff about where people making under $250,000 will get a tax break. Biden misspoke and said $100.000. They did have two people to argue the meaning of the gaff. But the spokesperson for the right talked without any interruption while the spokesperson for the left was talked over.

The fourth segment was about a rumor that a newspaper had a tape of Obama at a affair with someone from the Palestine government. It has not been released but that did not matter with the Fox spokesperson who was guessing what it was about. And that it would be very bad for Senator Obama.

The fifth segment was about General Petraeus talking about meeting with the Taliban in Afghanistan. And that was OK with Fox even thought Obama has been saying, meet with your enemies and Fox has been saying that is crazy. But as long as someone other than Obama is saying it it is OK.

I had to change the channel I could not take it any more. But this is fair and balanced.

The Horror of it All

The Spin Helpers

Mondays class was a killer. Evil keeps coming up with new ways to torcher us. Well she really did a good job. It was a very hard class,not for me, but I am saying that it was everybody else in class. The workout for myself was like taking a ride down Mr Battie. At the end I was as cool as a cucumber. Mary, on the other hand had a small lake around her ride. She was sweating like Sara Palin being asked to spell Alaska. I think it was due to another wild weekend. She said she slept in all weekend, right. Dede was in attendance as was Hiedi,Wendy,Michele,Doug or Duggie,Dolly and a couple of interlopers.

I always wondered where Evil got her ideas for the workouts. Well I found this picture and I think I now know where she gets these ideas.

Warning: Cute Alert

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flakey at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Lil'O'Reilly

This is so funny and if you are annoyed by Billo as I am it is perfect. Go here and enjoy.

Welcome the King

A Soyuz capsule carrying an American and two Russians touched down on target in Kazakhstan on Friday after a descent from the international space station, safely delivering the first two men to follow their fathers into space.

The picture is of the American Richard Garriott the son of astronaut father, Owen Garriotte. After being extracted from the capsule Richard began talking about being the new King of the planet Zorbong. Doctors tryed to bring him back to reality but, as Doctor Kraminshi of the Ruissian space program stated " He kept on saying he was the King of Zorbong and with the way he was dressed who could doubt him. Mr Garriott is now resting comfortably in a padded room in a suburb of Moscow.

Why Obama ?

Wednesday Spin

I am writing this post without a editor so some of you will not know what I am talking about. Starting very soon I will fix the communication problem and all will be good with the world. Then you can all drop your red pencils and just read.

Spin class today was very good in as I did not have a heart attack and did cheat death and lived to put away old number 7. Mary was in attendance as was Dede who is now not missing. Also Wendy, who has not asked about Peter Pan as of yet, was there and a couple of interlopers. One interloper , his name is Doug, is a very nice fellow who is not from Maine but lives in Colorado. I have talked to him alot after class and he may lose his interloper status very soon. Also there is a very small women who I have not met yet but she seems to come to all the classes. I will have to interrogate her very soon and find out what her story is. But getting back to the class it was a good class and a good workout from Victor. And one of the best things was that there were no single foot exercise, which I hate the most.

The class on Monday let by our favorite gal Evil was very tough as usual. She is the queen of torture and she can really dish it out. When you finish her class you are really spent. I am soak in wet and feel really invigorated . I hate to say it, but I think it takes someone who spends so much time in that dark deep dungeon under her house plotting a these really hard workouts to really make for a super workout. Evil keep up the evilness.

A Couple of Things

I got this in a email and I researched it and there are no problems that I can see. If you want, Google the number and read all about it. Give it a try.

SAVE YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!
Cell phone companies are charging $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 Information calls. Since no one carries a telephone directory in their vehicle, they get away with it.

When you need to use the 411 Information option, simply dial 1(800) FREE 411
That's 1-800-373-3411. You'll incur no charge, and it works on your home phone, as well.

If you enter this number into your cell phone you will always have a way now to get a phone number when you need one.

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This is a little ditty about John McCain ,check it out.



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I am still going over the many responses to my call for a editor and will make my decision before Friday. So you still have time to apply.

Help Wanted... Apply Below

It has come to my attention lately that friends of mine are unable to read my post because of the punctuation and or spelling and sentence structure. One of my so called friends said that when she reads my blog she wants to take out her red marker to correct all of my mistakes It has gotten so bad for these so called friends that they can't even get through the whole 5 sentences that I have written. Holy Crap it not like I am making no sense what so ever. At least I don't think so. Well any who I am looking for a editor to correct all of my many mistakes and set me on the right path. There will be no pay, but what you will get is to be the first person to read my incoherent rants. And I think that is payment enough. So let me know if this is what you want and maybe,if you are the chosen one,I will send you a little something from your pal.

Missing

Good Night

Last night my wife and I were invited to a pumpkin carving party at our friends home in Owls Head. So in my mind it was going to be inside, toasty and warm. Well in their mind and in reality it was outside. But it could not have been better. There was a blazing fire to keep warm good food and good people. And the carvers of the pumpkins did a spectacular job. It was a beautiful night and when the candles were added to the pumpkins it was spectacular. I just had a wonderful time with this group of people. It was the night, the food and I think most of all it was the 35 beers that I drank.

Cat Stuff

Go here for a little cat bowling for your pleasure.

Maga-frigg'in-zines

Do you know what I like about getting magazines? No, well I am going to tell you. I love that there are 5 million little cardboard inserts that they put in every magazine. And what are they for, to frigg'in annoy me that's what. Now every time I get a magazine I have to leaf through it and pull out all of those little cards before I start to read it. And to further annoy me, every once in a while they will stick in a whole cardboard page. And to make matters worst it is a fold out. Now this really gets me going, I have to rip it out of the magazine before I can go any further. And when you do it sometimes straightens the staples that hold the magazine together and it all falls apart. And by the way I hate pull out pages as a whole. Once you open them up they never go back the same way again. They always stick out or fall out as you are reading them and by then I want to punch someone in the face , not with my fists, but with this magazine that I thought I was going to really enjoy but is aggravating the crap out of me. Have a nice frigg'in day!

*A personal note to Hiedi, Dede and Mary. I did not show for the last two spin classes because I was so upset that Mary missed Wednesdays class that I could not get out of bed to go to class. Sorry, I will see you Monday.
your Pal

Here is a clip of a guy who is having the same problem.

Palin as President

This is one of the most elaborate interactive websites . Give it a look here.

Bonus Post Great Wedding Dance

I just got this from my pal Jeremy over at Jeremy's Status Message, and thought that I would pass it alone to all of the good people, who take the time to come to Willie's World to experience the wonder of your Pal.

Go here.

Leafs for Sale

Does anybody want to buy any leafs? I have as many as you want and in all colors. I even have some of my neighbors leafs who keep blowing on to my property. I will collect them this afternoon and bring them back in the dark of night. Well any who I love this time of year. Especially the foliage colors this year it is very colorful. With warm days and cool nights and the best is NO BUGS, it can't get any better.

This has been one of the toughest posts to write, not because of no ideas, but computer problems. First it wiped out half of the post as I was writing and it did not happen once it happen twice. Then it shut down for some up dates in the middle of finishing up. I hate computers.

Look at it this way

Yodel for your Funny Bone

Friends of our who came to visit this weekend brought up a real surprise. And what was the surprise, Funny Bones and Yodels. Two tempting treats that I just love. Give me a cake product covered in chocolate and stuffed with some sort of filling and I'll just roll over and you can rube my stomach for hours.(There are a couple of other things that make me roll over but that is another story.) That's right your pal loves all of those scrumshish calorie filled treats. I'll take a Twinkies or a Ring Ding or even a Sunny Doodle before a filet mignon. Give me a Devel Dog or a Butterscotch Krimpet or a Kandy Kake or Tasty Klair Pie . I can hardy write because I am drooling all over the key board. And sometimes when I get desperate I will go down a level to the mongrel brand like Little Debbie for Golden Cremes or a Zebra Cake or even a Strawberry Shortcake Roll. And you know what is so good about all of these cakes, it is that they have hardly any calories or sugar and they are really good for you. And nutritious too. And if you are really quite and listen very carefully while you are eating any of these cakes you can almost hear your arteries clogging.

Relaxing Visit

We have guests from New Jersey visiting us for the weekend. They are only going to be here for a day and a half, so we have to pack alot of stuff into a short time. So they arrived on Saturday afternoon about 4 pm. They had run into alot of traffic coming up so they were a little late. It's those pesky peeper that are causing all of the problems on the road. Any who as soon as they arrived we jumped into the car and headed to the Waterfront restaurant for dinner. A beautiful evening made the dinner just ducky. Back home to talk and then off to bed. The next morning up at 6 and off to hike up Mt Battie. Then off to the Owls Head Transportation Museum for a car show .Then blast up Rockland to the Black Bull for a nosh. After that it was off to Camden to take a sail around the harbor in the sailing ship The Appledore. Then get off the boat and drive over to Rockport and have dinner at Cody's. Then back to our house to catch Dexter on the TV. By then it was 12 noon. Just kidding it was time to go to bed and that's what we did.

Enough said

And The Winner Is...............

The one thing the stay in the hospital brought to my attention, other than dieing, was I might have a future in the modeling field. That's right the modeling field, and what would I be modeling you ask, veins that what. While in the hospital I had to have blood drawn quite frequently. And every time the tech turned over my arm to look for a vein they would say "Wow you have great veins". And they would go on and on about my viens. Well all I could do was blush. Then I started to think how can I turn this vein beauty into something profitable. Hollywood! I kept thinking of all the movies and TV shows that show a needle being pushed into a arm, drug addicts and CSI programs, and thought that could be me. I can hear it now "And the winner is Uncle Willie for his portrayal of Leonardo Dicaprio's arm in "I AM a Drug User ." I think my wife will be right on board with selling all of our possessions and going for it. And maybe not.

Never Walk to the Light

I wondered if anyone missed your pal yesterday. Well I want to tell you, that I was going through a little episode at the hospital. It all began Wednesdays at spin class.( my voice trails off and the story begins) I was in the throws of a good ride, and that was funny because I did not have my number 7 under me and I was feeling a little uncomfortable. Well any who the class was about 10 or 15 minutes from the end of the ride when all of a sudden I started to fill light headed. At first I was blowing it off because I am the hardest worker in spin class, then I said to myself "Hey knucklehead something is not right stop working out dick wad." So I got off the bike and went outside, in the gym, to sit down. The lightheadeddness had gone away but I was just not feeling right. So I called my wife and told her to stop by and pick me up. I did not want to scare her so I said " I think I'm having a heart attack."

So she rushed over to pick me up and we took a little trip to the emergency room. When I walked up to the women who takes the info and told her what was going on, the next thing I know is, I am in a room hooked up to a million machines and people sticking needles in my body. I wasn't too concerned up to that point, but holy crap this could be serious. Well any who they decide that I should stay overnight to do some further monitoring of my heart.

So I spent night with people waking me up at all time of the night to take blood and ask me if I am still breathing. The next morning they bring my breakfast and it is a thimble of orange juice and 1 slice of toast. Yum yummy that was so filling and satisfying. But the reason for that meal was that I was talking a sonic stress test. This is were they take pictures of your heart at rest and then they put you on the treadmill and bring your heart rate up and they take another picture of your heart as it is working very hard. Well because of the spin class I was on that dam treadmill for quite along time. They increase the speed and the angle every 3 minutes till you reach a high heart rate. It was a minute into the fourth 3 minute segment when I reached the level that the doctor wanted. So he asked me do you want to stop or do you want to go to the end of the segment. I said" bring it on doc. In Evils class this is a warm up." So when we finished the test he told me that I was very healthy and that he could not find anything wrong with my heart. So he said you can go home now and you can resume your exercise routine. So I asked him what could have cause that lightheadedness and he said "I don't know." Good answer.

I always thought that Evil would be the one to get me. But it was Victor who almost did me in. You know what I think it is those dam 1 foot exercise that are screwing me all up. But I think the real problem was that I did not have number 7. Remember that Mary, Dede and Heidi.

Hybrid Motorcycle

This is truly a novel idea and could save our country thousands upon thousands barrels of oil. I knew that given the encouragement people would come thought with new ideas to get us away from importing foreign oil. This invention will also make us more safe and secure.
Check it out here, it really could work

Tortrue at Spin Class

Spin class today was very good. Evil was on top of her game, and she must have thought up this class down in the lower dungeon of casa Evil. Let me paint a picture for you. OK lets start the class by using as much tension on the bike as you can take without ripping out every tendon in your knees. Now hold that for four minutes or till you heart burst, which ever comes first. Then take off a smidge of tension and go for what seemed like an hour. Then take off a little more tension and after a minute of that , all the while keeping your heart rate up in the stratosphere, take most of the tension off and spin as fast as you can for 3 minutes. And do that three times. I think Evil has a future job waiting for her down in Guantanamo Bay breaking prisoners down. Because after the ride I confessed that I kidnapped the Lindberg baby and also that I was D.B. Cooper . It was a heck of a ride.

PS I did not have my ride, number 7 bike, because I was being taught a lesson. Lesson learned.

Golf, what is it good for?....... Absolutely nothing!

Sunday I had the day to myself as my wife and her friend had gone to Portland to bow down and make a offering to the shopping gods. So I say to myself "Now I can walk around the house with no pants on." No, I can come up with something better than that, although the pants thing is very inviting. OK lets go play nine holes at the Goose River Golf Club. The last time I played I was just terrible, I wanted to climb back on the golf horse and renew the feelings that I am not without some golf skills. So off I go. As I was signing up to play I asked the man behind the counter if anybody had found a gold ball that I had lost the last time I played here. It is a little joke that I was playing on the man, as every time I play a round of golf I lose up to 10 balls in 18 hole round. The man behind the counter got it and we both had a good laugh. Off to the first tee I go. The first tee,a par 5, I hit a terrific drive right down the middle. Second shot, with a three wood, was straight and long , to within 100 yards of the green. As I was walking off the green after putting out for a 9, I knew that the wheels were coming off. And 65 strokes and 10 lost balls later I had guessed correctly. I love playing golf but it does not like me. For as much as I have played in my life time I should have mastered some of the skill, but no. I am just as bad as the first time I picked up a club 30 years ago. Maybe the next time I play I will put it all together and play that round that I know that I have the skills for, and maybe not.

The Debate

I was just thinking, what would it be like if Sara Palin had come along 8 years ago and became George Bush's running mate. You could have had two people that don't know what the hell they are doing. The one upside, there could have have been a hit blooper show exclusively with Bush and Palin. America would be in worst shape then it is now, but it would be funny.

Missing

Lets see who will be in spin class tomorrow? No wait, lets just list the people who will not be there. Humm, let see who will not be there on Saturday. Dede, that's who will not be there . And I asked why. Is she sick or has something to do with the kid or maybe a relative. But no it is that she is going to sleep in with that boyfriend of hers. And I bet they are going to be sleeping in. Not. I can predict no sleep and alot of monkey love, that's what I think. Oh well I hope she has a good time because all of her buddy's will be sweating there butts off , gasping for breath and feeling alot of pain. But as we are going through hell she will be dreaming of french fries and a Bud Light.

A Finger Salute

I must give out the Uncle Willie finger salute to a couple of people that I have crossed paths with recently. First finger salute goes to the man in the red Toyota Tacoma who crested a hill in the wrong lane as I was driving up the hill in the right lane. Thank Jebus that this moron came too just in time, and got in his own lane. Next recipient is the women who was entering the YMCA as I was leaving. I ,being Mr. Manners, held one of the two doors open for her as she opened the other door to come through. Thanks alot Mrs I-don't-care-if-you-are-being-nice-I-am-going-to-open-my-own-door-and-you-Uncle Fool-just-stand-there-and-watch-me-go-through-the-other-door. And last but not least the guy in the Mercedes and the women in the Volvo wagon who thought that signaling the guy in back of them, your pal,would be a veritable hardship. I say to them and the other two that they should all rot in hell and before that they can kiss my gluteus maximus.


Lighting the mood a bit here is Homer trying to vote for Obams.

What is Sara Palin All About

A Big Surprise

Go here for the biggest story of the year.