The Dreaded Madurski Brothers

Halloween would not be complete without the tale of the dreaded Madurski Bro.. They lived on the next block from our house in New Jersey. In the early 50's there were lots and lots of developments going up all over the place, and we lived in one. It was filled with young couples that had two or three children each. So our block had about 50 kids on it, we had quite a group to interact with. And that was the same on every block in our development. So we would develop rivalries between each street. We would challenge each block in baseball, or in the winter football. We lived on Semel Avenue and the dreaded Madurski brothers lived on Bradford Avenue.
So we Semel people thought that the the Bradford Avenue people, including the dreaded Madurski brothers, were a bad bunch.


Getting back to Halloween. We would start to trick or treat just after school. As far as I can remember we started in the dark, probably about 4:30, and we would stay out till about 7:30 or 8:00. This was the norm. But not for the dreaded Madurski brothers. Everyone in the our house would be gearing down for bed time about 9 o'clock, when all of a sudden you would hear a knock on the door. My father would say "who the heck is that?" and open the door, with my brother and I in back of him, curious to see who would be out this late. Guess who. Yes, that's right the DREADED MADURSKI BROTHERS with no costumes and no bag for the candy, just their held out hands. So my father wanting just to get rid of them,would tell us to get some candy from our stash. My brother and I would go pick out the candy that we liked the least for me it was anything with coconut, Mounds or Almond Joys. We would hand the dreaded Madurski brothers the candy and they would leave, without saying a word of thanks. We watched them slither off in to the night from our window wondering what would be next for the dreaded Madurski brothers. Well we found out the next morning.
Every carved pumpkin on the block that had been resting on the stoops of all most every home, was now in the splattered in the middle of the street. A little calling card from, you guess it again THE DREADED MADURSKI BROTHERS..

A Cackle for Halloween

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the
latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed
with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the
bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He
started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get
the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled
pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet,
staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely
containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the crap out
of a ghost."
Happy Halloween!

Halloweenie

I think Halloween is out of control. Not for the kids, for the adults. Yes my friends let me spin this tale of a children's holiday gone amok.
When I was a child, back in the cave days, Halloween was a close number 2 to Christmas for being my favorite day. We lived in a development with maybe two hundred homes that were about 15 feet apart. This added up to a pillowcase full of candy and or penny's. The apples or oranges that people use to give were quickly disposed of by hurling them at your buddy's. Any who it was, to me, a bizarro day where all the rules about eating candy and how much you can eat were thrown right out the window. For a couple of days after Halloween you could eat candy for all three meals. A week after Halloween was another holiday, lesser know, it was called Big Dentist Day. It was only practiced by a few people who enjoyed sticking their fingers into some one's else's mouth.
When I was a kid most people had hand made costumes. Not like today were all you have to do is go to Walmart and buy one of your favorite characters costumes. Who would want to get dressed up as Bill Gates or Al Roaker. The kids that I hung around with usually dressed as bums, that was the costume of choice. It was an easy make, a couple of patches pinned to your clothing and some black cork on your face as a beard. A stick with a handkerchief tied to the end, sort of a bum suitcase. Their was one kid who took it to a new level, he was way ahead of his time, he pushed around an old refrigerator box and babbled incoherently all night. As people where handing out the candy they would comment about his bum costume, he would correct them and say "I am not a bum, I am homeless."

Their was also a couple of cowboys and I remember one year my mother dressed me up as a girl. I am still going to therapy for that.
In the 50's they had masks that were made of, I think it was,it sure felt like, fiberglass. I wore one of these masks one time and almost cut my head off. It use to rub on you skin and feel quite uncomfortable as the edges tryed to saw through your skin. But most of the kids wore the Lone Ranger type mask. There were a couple of full face masks, that were made of rubber. But if you wore one of these masks you would sweat so much that your head would shrink 3 sizes.But getting back.
In my youth we usually decorated by drawing a pumpkin or a witch and we would tape to our front door or in our windows. Sometimes our parents would buy a real pumpkin, and we would all clean it out and then carve eyes a nose and a mouth into the pumpkin. Then stick a candle in the inside. And it wasn't these fantasy dantasy carved faces, it was a triangle for the eyes and nose, and a smile with 3 teeth. The pumpkins usually lasted only about a day, because of dreaded Madurski bros., they would slither over in the dark of night destroying every pumpkin on the planet.
But today the parents are not satisfied with these simple decorations, no we have to have heads and characters that move and talk. We need to engulf our whole property in fake spider webs. We need blow up characters, that are encased in a plastic bubbles that need a electric blower on at all times to keep them inflated. I think it is getting a little carried away. Why just the other day I passed a home that had a blow up of the complete broadway cast of Les Miserables it was really bizarre.

So Halloween has changed alot since my day. I think parents are frighten to send their children out to trick or treat any more. Because of all of the weird stories that are told. By the way some of those stories are not true. Like the razor blade in the apple story. And it is a shame because to me they were some of the fondness memories I had in my younger life.

P.S. And get rid of those blow up figures. There not scary at all.

Spinning and the Chicken Coop

Yes it is another spin class story. Today as I was warming up for the evil spin class instructor Amy's spin into the land of pain and near unconsciousness. I turned to the woman on my left and asked "Polly what have you been up too?" And she replied "building a chicken coop." Well you could have hit me over the head with a rubber chicken. I said "a chicken coop"? And Polly replies "Yes it where you keep your chickens". And I say " I keep my chicken in the freezer all wrapped in cellophane". So Polly has chicken, two of them a hen and a rooster. Speaking of roosters, around our home there is a rooster that keeps crowing all day long. I guess he didn't get the notice that a rooster is suppose to only crow once when the sun comes up. This rooster could also have narcolepsy for all I know. Getting back to Polly she said she is building the coop because she wants more chickens so she can have fresh eggs. I think she wants more chickens so she can be master over her many chicken underlings. She also said that the coop is for keeping the chickens from coming into the house. How do chicken get into the house, like mice? Do they peck big holes in the walls. How can you tell if you have chicken in the home? Do you find eggs all over the place? Are there chicken traps and do you set them with chicken feed? Can you train a chicken to poop in the toilet? I just don't know. Well good cluck to Polly she is a good egg.

One of my favorite movies Chicken Run.


Darwin said that chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads.

Q: What happened when the chicken ate cement?
A: She laid a sidewalk!

"A man goes into a butcher's shop and asks for a chicken.
"After the butcher sells it to him he realises it's got one leg longer than the other so he says to the butcher, "Oy, this chicken's got one leg longer than the other."
"So the butcher asks him: "What do you want to do, eat it or dance with it?""

THE BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER Says me..
There was a man driving down the highway going about 55 miles per hour when this chicken with three legs began running beside him. He decided to speed up to 65 miles per hour, but the chicken stayed right beside him. So he sped up to 75 miles per hour, but still the chicken stayed with him. He came up to a fork in the road and the three-legged chicken went left and ran into a farm yard. Curious, the man decided to investigate so he pulled up to the farm and got out of his car. He noticed that the yard was full of three-legged chickens running around at high speeds. Still curious, the man went up and knocked on the door of the house and the farmer came out. The man asked the farmer, "How did you get all these three-legged chickens?" "Well," the farmer stated, "I have a family of three, and we all like the drumsticks, so I decided to engineer some chickens with three legs so everyone is happy." "How do they taste?" the man asked. "Well," the farmer said, "don't know, haven't been able to catch one yet."

Va-friggin-cation 2

Boarding the plane in Portland went off well, no problems at all. We were seated and buckled in waiting for the instructions from the fight crew. My wife and I of course pulled out the handy card with all of the safety instructions on it. I always check were the exits are and always check out how to open the doors. As I looked around the aircraft my wife and I were the only ones that checked this information out. everybody was reading a paper or on their laptops or cell phones, not really paying attention. Well if there ever was a problem and we had to ditch the plane, my wife and I would really be in trouble, because no one else except the flight crew, could in a panic find the nearest exit. And thought all of the panic and kayos I would be shouting that everyone should have looked at the safety instruction and that they are all dopes and that I am the king of safety and will lead them to a safe place so follow me. All hale the safety King. I think I just got carried away a bit. Sorry.

So we finally take off and the seat belt sign is off and guess what happen? The knucklehead in front of me reclines his seat. Didn't he read my blog about putting your airline seat back, jimmy crickets. Plus this guy is the only person with his seat back in the whole plane. Before the reclining I had no room now I have minus room, plus now I am resting my chin on this knuckleheads forehead. God I hate that!

So we land in West Palm Beach Airport on time. We pick up our bags and go to the outside to wait to be picked up by our rent-a-car company. It is called EZ rental. It is a new company I think, because I had never heard of it before. We chose EZ because it was the cheapest car rental. So the rental company's van arrived. We go to get aboard, but the step up to get in is about 2 foot of the ground. Where did they get this van from, a monster truck show reject. I thought I spotted the name Bigfoot through the paint on the side of the van, but I could be mistaken. My mother-in-law has trouble stepping over a raised pattern on the carpet, how is she going to get in this van. Well finally we haul her on board and off we go to pick up our EZ rental car. In the van was a family. They had a small boy, I guess he was about 5 years old. This kid must have asked his father about 300 question in the 5 minutes it took to get to the rental office.

What kind of birds are they? Are there alligators in Fla.? Why is that tree dead? How do you make a martini? Why is that man in the back seat, he was talking about me, trying to put duck tape over my mouth?

After a long 5 minute ride we arrived at the rental company's office. Their office is in the Hilton Hotel so this is looking good to get a nice vehicle.I get in line to pick up our car and this little kid, from the van, is running around like he has had 25 cups of espresso. The people, who are handing out the rental cars think they are doing us all a favor by giving this kid a handful of candy. Well that's like pouring gasoline onto a fire. Within 4 minutes the kid is running around like crazy, but not on the floor on the walls like Frank Langella in the movie Dracula. It was the wildest thing.

So finally we get our car. It is a white Ford Fusion. It looks great. The rental car clerk tells me to check the car over and let them know if there is any damages. So I go out to check out the car. Driver side OK. Front OK. Passenger side OK. The rear looks like a spent booster rocket from the latest NASA launch fell on it. Broken taillight, big black marks all over it. So I go in and tell the clerk, and I am going on and on about the damage and that she had better look at it to see what I was talking about. And she says to me " just bring it back with a half a tank of gas". Have a nice day. We pack up and off we go to Boca in our demolition derby vehicle.

Stupid Quote

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

The Start of the Va-friggin-cation

Well were should I start, how about the beginning. So the plan was to spend 10 glorious days in Boca Raton Florida with my wife and my mother-in-law. We were to leave on Monday and return on the following Thursday. Bags were packed everything we needed was, I thought, taken care of. We were taking a flight out of Portland at 6:30 PM so that left us all day to do what ever. I naturally took the spin class in the morning, taught by the The Queen of Pain Amy. So I was ready to go.

So off we go on a leisurely jaunt to the airport with plenty of time to spare just in case we had any trouble. We got to the airport I dropped my wife and my mother-in-law in front of the airlines and I went to park the car. I found a premium spot in the parking lot, right up front. This must be my lucky day I thought.

My mother-in-law has a little trouble walking, so we got a wheel chair for her. Well this handicap for my mother-in-law turned into a blessing for the group. We were given special treatment, that is, rushed to the front of the line in security. A real time saver. There is at least one up side for having a handicap, not just the good parking spaces. So we were sitting pretty, we were at the gate, and we would be the first people on the plane. Plus we had the seat right in front of the bulk head, with lots of leg room. It just couldn't get any better.

We had about 30 minutes before boarding and I was just relaxed and reading my Spin Class World Magazine sipping on a lime flavored Pepsi when my wife taps me on the shoulder and says "I left the keys too the condo in Boca on the kitchen counter'. Now I ,being the cool head in the family, said "What are we going to do, oh no, someone please help me, I want my mommy". After removing myself from the fetal position and wiping the tears away, my wife took over. She went to the ticket counter and got them to change our flight. We would be leaving at 6:30 AM the next morning. So off we go grab our luggage, get the car, load everybody and everything in and head on back to Rockport, 1 hour and 40 minutes away. We got home about 9:30 and got to bed about 10. Now in order to make the AM flight on time we had to rise at 2:00 AM and speed to the airport to make our flight. So much for a leisurely jaunt. Plus my wife is not talking to me, just because I asked her, on the ride to the airport, 55 times if she had the keys. Boy, what a grouch.

Navel Survey

Well thank you innie navel people for standing up and being counted. Those of you with outies should just come out of the closet and be proud of that little protrusion. Stick it out their for the world to see, even if may be disgusting. Be proud.

And I also would like to say how wonderful it was to once again get three people to answer the poll. I am completely underwhelmed. And I also wouldn't put it pass my friend Jeremy to vote all three times, because of his superfluous belly buttons.

If You Love Star Wars You Will Love Stacy Hedger

I am posting this from Boca Raton Fla. or as I like to call it Disney Land for the rich. See you soon.
I just had to pass this along to everyone. Now that I have heard it, you will have the pleasure as well. I just wanted to thank my friend Jeremy at Jeremy's Sametune Status for the heads up. I am trying to think of a way that I can repay him for this, but I don't know any thugs.

Oh well. Enjoy.

Vacation

Don't panic I will be back. So If you really miss this blog, go back and read the older posts again. It just gets better and better with age. I will try to post on vacation but don't count on it. See Ya.

This is from the The Office on NBC about vacation.

Things you need to know when driving in New Jersey

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is New-erk not
New-ark.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the
parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Wussy."

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own
version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Monmouth county, SUV-driving,
cellphone-talking

mothers ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey.
Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during
the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks,dogs, cats,
barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires,cell-phoners,
deer and other road kill, and the Homeless feeding on any of these
items.

9. Mapquest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say
they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike ez pass lanes
are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon
for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after
church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

Stupid Quote

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

I Hate Chain Letters

Please don't send me any chain letters because I delete them immediately. I know that I am your special friend and before you kick the bucket you want to let me know just how you feel, well I don't give a dam. And I know that by not forwarding these messages I am going to have years of bad luck. Yea, and that scares me,how? And I don't want to be loved by God or Jesus or Ronald McDonald or anybody else.

The animation on these chain letters just make me puke. Teddy bears, dancing flowers, creepy clowns, puppy's it always annoys me. And the best one's are those that say if you pass this email along you will be rewarded with something special that day. Yea a computer virus. So I think I have gotten my message across to you all. No chain letters for Willie.


If you pass this on to 10 people you will have good luck for the rest of your life. You will also be saving many puppy's from being slaughtered for use in the Hormel Company's lunch meat. Sold under the name Hormel's Prime Balonuppy.

Fox News Online Latest News Oct. 11,2007

Man Shoots Colleague, Severs Penis in 'Honor Killing'

Docs Use Vodka Drip to Save Poisoned Tourist's Life

Hungry Boy, 6, Tries to Drive Himself to Applebee's

City Issues 'No Candy' Signs for Sex Offender Yards

Arkansas Pols Fail to Fix Law Letting Toddlers Marry

I was looking for these stories on NPR, but they seem to be only available to Fox news online. OH well........

Old Friends

I have been in contact lately with a old friend from the past. So I went back and got some old photos of him in the good old days. I have also obtained a picture of him now. Here is the comparison of both pictures. The top picture is from about 1965, with my friend on the right. The picture of him today is on the bottom of the post. Time really changes people.

To My Buddy Skunk Boy

This is a reply to my friend from New Jersey, Skunk boy. We traveled to Vermont this week to enter a car show put on by a local BMW club. Well my friend left a little comment about his car compared to mine. His expletive filled comment where quite hurting. And he also made mention of my poor spelling of Porsche. Well, I will place a picture of his car in this post and you can make up your own mind.

Now I wouldn't stoop as low as he, and talk about his long curled under toenails that clack like Fred Astaire's tap shoes as he walks on the bare floor. And that he can,because of these toenails, climb a tree like a Lemur. It just not my style. And I feel sorry for his large headed wife, who has scars all over her legs from his toenails. Not to mention the very large expense for new bed sheets every week. No I am above all that.


PS Skunk boy try to put your comments on the correct post. I know it's hard figuring these thing out and to use a keyboard, with you being use to writing notes with a crayon on a paper bag.

This is Not a Spin Class Story

One of the spin class instructors Amy, has the most strenuous workouts ever time. I would love to be a fly on the wall when she is planning these routines. So I am putting myself into a trance so I can be in the room with Amy as she planning these classes. Oh by the way I lied about it not being a spin class story, haha. So let me get into the trance. Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. OK I am there now the room, or is it a dungeon, is very dark. In the corner is a small desk with, it looks like animal skulls all over the top. There is Amy dressed in a black cape, she has her Ipod on and is laughing, no its more like a cackle I think. She is saying something, let me get a little closer and see if I can hear her.

"This will really take them down with this routine. It will be 10 minutes of high speed with all the tension on. Hee hee hee, that will take the spunk right out of them. Then we will go to a standing run with no tension, this is really great, that should drop them all down a peg. Ooh maybe I can make their noses bleed or something. And no rest in between, that it yea no rest. Cackle cackle. Then we will finish off with a 20 min. in the seat climb, full tension. I'll teach those people to respect me. "Oh great and evil spin master make their legs burn and ack Ok, thanks alot".

This is getting to creepy even for me. Let me get out of this spell.

"Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. Were am I? What's going on? Oh I'm back, boy that was something. Well I will certainly look at Amy differently now.

"Mommy I scared."

RV's, the Vehicles from Hell

This weekend I was traveling to Stow Vermont for a all German Car show put on by a local Vermont BMW club. Both me and my buddy in New Jersey have porsche. So we decide to drive up to Stow and enter the show. I am all excited about the trip,I had just got my car back from the mechanic who had the car since May, and I was really looking forward to driving the car. Another plus was that the fall foliage was at its peak in that area of Vermont.
Now the joys of driving a porsche is that it handles very well, sticking to the road like glue while cornering. but the cars best attribute is that it is fast a hell. You can be over a 100 mph in a matter of seconds, its a rocket. So I was looking forward to those winding roads and those clear straight aways to really put the car through its paces.
There was one thing that I didn't count on, BIG GIANT RV'S. Yes my friends the rv's, that slow moving vehicle that seems to have a parade of cars behind it at all times. The vehicle that can reach a top speed of over 35 mph, and corners like and elephant on roller skates. A vehicle who is usually piloted by someone who's favorite song at one time in their lives was I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy. These are the vehicles who you see on the interstate in the middle lane of a three lane highway going 35 mph. You will always find these drivers, when you pass them finally after about 20 miles of 20 mph, staring straight ahead, their heads locked in the forward position. I think this position, of never looking to either side, is a defensive maneuver so they won't see people glaring at them or giving them the finger.
These vehicles are always covered with stickers from the states that they have driven thought. To reinforce my point about about being slow, there was a sticker on one of these rv's from Alaska that read "Alaska, Looking forward to being the 49th state". That boy has been on the road a long time.
So I spent 3 day of driving in first gear,at over 35 mph, on these beautiful winding and twisty roads just screaming my head off. My wife telling me to relax and enjoy the scenery. Yea I'll relax alright. I'm planning my revenge and it will be sweet and those evil rv people had better watch out, because they will feel the wrath of Willie, and believe me they don't want to feel that. That's right they better sleep with one eye open in their pull out beds that convert back to a kitchen table. They had better keep their eyes peeled in their tiny little showers, or sitting on their tiny little teenie weenie little toilets. That's right beware, and also have a nice day.

Stupid Quote

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

One Is Enough

A polygamist passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widows, but they can't touch it 'til there 14.

Polygamy, at first glance it seeems that it could be kind of nice. There would be many women, and many wonderful passionate moments, wonderful conversations, sharing in everyones many moods, and of course loads of children.

But when you really think about it, you come to the conclusion, that it would be too many women, too many passionate moment ,too many converstion, too many moods and way to many children.


When WC Fields was asked "How do you like childred?" He replyed "Parboiled."

Hey Pope, How Ya Do'in

Someone I know told me that her son had gone to Italy and was going to have an audience with the Pope. So what do you talk to the Pope about.

1 Hey how about those Mets?
2 Hey were did you get that hat, I love it. Can you get one with a John Deer insignia?
3 So what is your day like? Do you pray all day?
4 Do you wear anything under those robes?
5 What is it like to wear slippers all of the time?
6 Can you see your refection in a mirror?
7 What do you think about people calling a chickens butt the popes nose?
8 Did he ever put a spell on anyone?
9 Do you ever use the phrase "is the Pope Catholic"?
10 Do you ever chill with your posse and have a couple of beers?
11 What's it like wearing a dress?
12 Do you go to the bathroom like everyone else?
13 How many cup holder in the popemoble?
14 Do you wash your ring after someone kisses it?
15 Whats it like being the big cheese?
16Can you fly?
17Do you ever hide anything under that tall Pope hat?
18Do you ever pass gas and blame it on a Cardinal ?

Inquiring minds want too know.

Mrs. Spell Check (yes another spin class post)

I love seeing Mary first come in to class in the AM. She has this look like she is not going to make it. But she takes about 4 or 5 deep breaths, complains about a couple of unnamed family members,and then she is ready to go, and boy does she go. When I first started to take this class,spin that is, I was always amazed how hard she works out. Plus she always uses the evil new type bike, they are much harder to pedal then the older ones. Of course I would use this new type bike, if my doctor would give me the go ahead and if it weren't for my two wooden legs, but that's another story. Any who you watch Mary put her head down and go all out, for the whole class its pretty impressive. And Mary has her own spot in class, on the end and in the front row. God forbid any one take that spot, she'll stare at that person the whole class. I've seen her give the finger to them behind there backs. Don't mess with the Mar. She works out very hard, pretty soon she will almost be up there with me, NOT!


I hope every word is spelled correctly Mery.

Rush Limbaugh Backing the Troops

I had to post this because this guy Rush Limbaugh is a man with no shame. He called all Iraq veterans that oppose the war phony soldiers. These men served with honor in Iraq, they did not shrug their duty. But because they have a different point of view on the war and what is happening over their, Rush calls them phony soldiers. And he is also blaming Media Matters for calling attention to what he has said. He says that Media Matters has taken what he has said out of context. The one problem with that is that they had his complete transcript of what he said so there would be no way he could be taken out of context. And by the way Rush removed about 1 min. 35 sec. ,from his shows transcript, of the call on which he accused these men of being phony soldiers. This from a guy that has never put his life on the line for anything, except for maybe smoking his big obnoxious cigars and doing drugs.

Don't Listen to Thelma Good

This is a note to Thelma Good, who ever you are, for sending me the following email;
Girls next door getting stuffed with huge d--ks, she might be your neighbor!. Click here. Upon seeing your email, and being concerned, I rushed right over to my neighbors home and knocked frantically on the door. When my neighbors husband answered the door and I told him of my concern about his wife being stuffed. Well, you would of thought that I said that there was no Santa. He grab me and said that if I didn't leave right that minute that he would be stuffing me with his size 9. Well, I don't have to be told twice. And here I was just a concered neighbor trying to protect my neighbors wife from stuffing. Well thats the last time for me. And to Thelma please don't send me any more warnings. People just don't want the help.

A Stroll in the Park

Last Sunday a couple of friends and I traveled to Millinocket Maine to Baxter State Park to hike up Mt Katahdin. Now this hike is not a stroll in the park, Mt Katahdin is 5,267 ft.. There are many trails that lead to the summit, we decided to hike the Abol trail. This trail is 8.4 miles round trip. The trail travels along an old rock slide and being one of the shortest routes to the top, it is very steep, with loose rocks most of the way up.
In preparing for this hike I have to carrie at least 4 16oz. bottles of water, energy bars, and trail mix ,to keep up your energy. I also carry a knife,first aid kit, sun screen, bug spray, flashlight, rain gear, jacket, bowling ball, tennis racket, a complete set of the Encyclopedia Britannica,and my sleep teddy bear Mr.Stuffy. Also I wear very good hiking boots from LL Bean, so I am really prepared for anything and everything that could happen of this hike.
The hike was very gruelling, it was steep and when you reached the plateau, about a mile from the summit, the wind picked up to about 40 mph and the temperature dropped from 70% to about 39%. But I was prepared for all obstacles. But one thing I wasn't prepared for was a family that we passed as we were hiking to the top,and they were returning . A man in sandles wearing a cottten shirt, no tie, and carring a 8oz. bottle of water. His 7 year old son dressed like the father with a 8oz. bottle of water, and most likely matching underoos. The mother was wearing a snappy little number from Yves Saint Laurent with suede bootie from Prada. I am exaggerating a tad, but what I am trying to say is they were dressed like they were going to the mall. If any thing really bad had happen, like rain or someone had fallen, they would not be in good shape. I, on the other hand, was prepared for eveything. The downside to this is that my backpack weighted about 500 pounds, and there water bottle weighed about 4 oz.. Plus they were coming back from the top, they made it!( if there is a God I hope that this family fell off the mountian. Just kidding, maybe.).
Any who we made it to the top and it was spectacular and my legs, after 5 days of walking like Frankenstein "hiking good", are back to normal.