Dunkin Nonuts

Dunkin Donuts sucks and I will not ever go there again. Why, you ask, well I'll tells ya, because they caved into the the lunatic fringe. Someone saw a DD ad that had Rachael Ray in it wearing a black and white paisley scarf. Well in this group of ,there's a terrorist cells under every bed, decided that this scarf looked kinda like keffiyeh, a traditional head scarf worn by Arab men. So a couple of people started to spread the rumor that it was terrible that Rachael Ray would wear a terrorist sympathizer scarf and started to complain to the Dunkin Donut people. And you know what the DD people did they pulled the ad. Instead of saying " that's not a keffiyeh it's just a black and white paisley scarf you knuckleheads. Do they think that Rachael Ray is a member of a terrorist cell and is she just waiting to poison every last jelly donut, in 30 minutes I bet, that DD sells. So the jelly filled heads of DD pulled the ad and now I am pulling out of DD. Good bye Dunkinchino my old friend I'll miss you.

Ground Hog Day at Lowe's

This is a Lowe's update. My wife and I are now on a first name basics with about 10 people that work at Lowe's. It seems we go there at least once a day. Yesterday was the day of the tubs. We traveled to Lowe's to purchase a tub for our bathroom update. We head to the plumbing department to pick it out. We show the person what tub we want, he roles it out, and I say is that a right hand drain. And he looks at the box and says's yes. So we load it on my truck and haul it home. My wife and I struggle to get it into the garage and try to get it into the main house. No good it is not going to make it. I will have to remove the door to get it in. OK I remove the door, we lift it in, and unpack it to check it out. Golly o get out it's a left handed drain. A couple of curses and we head on back to Lowe the next day.

I'm cool as I drive to exchange the tub the next day. Pull in to the parking lot, unload the tub, bring it back to exchange it, and pick out a new tub with the right hand drain. I double and triple check to see that is a right hand drain. Load up the truck, head back to our house, unload the tub. Before I take off the packing I check and make sure it is a right hand drain. Well jehosaphat the tub has a very large crack running down one side. More cursing and a lot of running around in circles. I get my composure load the tub on the truck and away I go for the third time to get a new tub.

I enter the Lowe's parking lot once more. I don't even have to steer the truck anymore because there is a groove in the road from me traveling over the same road over a million times in two weeks. I unload the tub, exchange it, and head over to get a new tub that I hope is perfect. The employee brings out a tub. I check the contents of the box. Surprise it is cracked as well. Well after a 40 minute wait they finally got a perfect tub. After I payed for the tub the third time, I bid my new friends a goodbye and head home, wondering if it me that is cursed and that what ever I do will not be right. Somebody please help me.

Donate

Evil is going to do the Trek Across Maine with her son. The trek is a three day ride to raise money for the American Lung Association. Now if you are a friend of Willie's World it would do my heart some good if you sponsor Evil in the trek. Just go to the link below and donate, any amount would be appreciated. And if you do donate I will promise not write anything bad about your for a couple of weeks.

Click here to donate


The picture is Evil welcoming us right before spin class.

A hard workout

Well Evil ran a hell of a class last night. It was really tough. In attendance were Mary, Dede, Heidi, Polly, who has added two geese to her zoo, named Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wonder why they gave them those names. When I asked Polly what they looked like she said "delicious". What the heck does that mean. Oh well, to get back to the attendees, Polly's son and 3 GTI'S. I will now be calling the GTI's TI's because there was no giggling last night. It could have something to do with Evils hard workout. But the topper of the evening was after the class Evil asked "Does anyone want to run around the track now"? And you know what a couple of people did. I would have but I would have had to have the EMT's run right in back of me. Mary ran, "Oh Evil I am just like you and the TI's, look at me I'm cool". What a suck up. What's next Mary, are you going to bring Evil a bright shiny apple every Tuesday night. Any who it was a good hard workout that I really enjoyed.


Note to Mary. Apples are on sale at Hannafords.

Geek or Creep

Here is a little game for you. Let's see if you are a good judge of character.
Go here for the test.

Memorial Day

This is a picture of my father in 1943. He was wounded in the Invasion of Normandy on June 6, 1944. Today let us think about the women and men who serve this country, who put themselves in harms way for our freedom.

Son of Frankenstein

One of my favorite movies as a kid was Son of Frankenstein. It was the last time Boris Karloff would play the monster. The movie had some great characters Igor was played by Bela Lugosi, Basil Rathbone played Henry Frankensteins son Wolf and one of my favorites was Lionel Atwill as Inspector Krogh. In the movie he had lost his arm to the monster who had ripped it off. In one of the most memorable scenes Wolf Frankenstein was playing darts with Inspector Krogh in this giant room, made spectacular by the wonderful lighting. Inspector Krogh, when it was his turn, took the darts and plunged them into his wooden arm while he was shooting. I thought that was kind of cool. This is a great old horror movie that you should try to catch if you can.

Why I Love Living in Maine

Dandelions, yes that's right dandelions. When I lived in New Jersey if you had a dandelion on your lawn you were some sort of a weirdo.Case in point. One time the guy who use to live across the street from me told me that he was thinking of killing the dandelions on his neighbors lawn in the middle of the night, because the neighbor was not killing the dandelions fast enough, and they were infecting his lawn. The man was passionate wirdo. But you know I was in the same mind set as well. I have now come to love this little yellow flower. Maine people love the dandelions, there on lawns and they sometimes cover whole fields, it's beautiful. In New Jersey it's a weed, in Maine it's a flower.

The picture is one that I took, in the spring, at Fort Knox in Bucksport Maine.

It's Alright?.......Alright!

Senor Wences was a ventriloquist who appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show in the late 50's early 60's. I thought he was so inventive with his characters and his routines. He would always make me laugh and he still does in the clip below. So enjoy the Senor and his friends.

Building Fear and Hate

With all the excitement about American Idol and Kristi Yamaguchi winning Dancing with the Stars. I just had to bring everyone back to earth with 3 crazy guys who scare millions of people every day. So here you go.

New Friends

OK last night spin class led by Evil was a good hard workout. But it did not feel the same, there was a different vibe in the room. The reason, Evils got new buddies, I call them the giggling triathlete interlopers. Yes my friends the angels( or angles, that's for you Mr Snootles) and I have be pushed to the side for the new giggling triathlete interlopers or GTI. Last night as I was preparing my ride the mood in the room had been converted from preparing for a hard workout too a 8 year old girls birthday party. While I was getting ready to exercise Evil and the GTI's were in the corner in a giggle fest. I don't know what they were all laughing about, maybe a funny kind of bike or a hilarious new kind of running sneaker or funny bathing suit. I don't have a clue. And, the GTI's kept on giggling through the ride and after and even as I was walking to my truck in the parking lot were still giggling. Did they all swallow a bucket full of feathers. (That's the best I could come up with, sorry.) And the kicker after the class as the giggle fest continued the bike boy, me, had to put the GTI's bikes away. Funny huh. Well I'll bide my time and when the time is right I'll unleash my reve.................... Sorry I got carried away a little. I just hope Evil enjoys her new giggling friends. We will be waiting like a discarded old sneakers in the corner for her to try us on again. I can't go on it hurts to much.

First Day Back

Back from the vacation from hell and my first spin class. I really expected a joyous celebration now that your pal was back and ready for action. But it was kind of cool to say the least, but that's OK I can take it. It'll be business as usual for me. It will take time but I will elevate my status as the spinmiester soon enough. And Evil welcomed me back by trying to kill me, but I fooled her and lived.

I just want to give a great big shout out to the class the follows the spin class. These people come pouring into class while we are trying to put the bikes away. They don't really care about our feeling, no they just care about themselves," look out I have weights and a step get out of my way"." We are the chosen exerciser's we have a calling from God to pour into the exercise room at the exact minute every time". I hope they all get a cramp. Musclebound step climber uppers. Some day I get my revenge and it will be sweet. I just haven't figured it out yet. But when I do watch out. Have a nice day.

Make My Day

You want to know why I don't carry a gun? Sure you do. While visiting N.J. my wife and I had to go to the metro station and pick up my friend and his son. So we pull into the train station and I see a sign that says, 20 minute parking for pickups. So a-hole that I am I pull into a space to wait. As we are waiting in our car, right in front of us, there is a drop off spot , where people can drop off passenger for the train. There are many signs all along this area that say clearly, Passenger Drop Off, and below that is a giant circle with a large P in the center with a slash going thru it. Now with my pea brain I figured that it mean's no parking. But nooooooooooooooooooooooo there were about 10 cars parked there waiting for passengers to arrive, and if you wanted to drop someone off you couldn't because you couldn't get close. Now the parking area for the passenger waiting was very far away from the drop off area, maybe 10 feet or so. How can these people be so lazy or inconsiderate. In New Jersey its every person for himself. It is a crazy world. Too little space and too many people. And everyone is in a hurry. People are like they have been shot out of canons. There are a many people that are really really annoying and not courteous at all. And that is why I don't pack a rod.

The Trip from Hell

Well it's been a hell of a trip to New Jersey. First the 10 1/2 hour trip down that should have taken 8 hours. The confirmation went off with out too many problems, except for the wild kiddies. The next day we get a call from my sister-in-law saying that my brother has had a heart attack. Off to the hospital we go. While we were in the waiting room my brother, who is recovering very nicely, asked that we call my father, who is in Fla., and tell him about his heart attack. My wife calls him from the waiting room in the hospital. The first thing my father says is that he is shaking and that she should call the EMT's,it was later discovered he had a infection from a cut he had gotten two weeks before. OK we are batting 2 for 2. The next day we pick up some sub sandwiches to bring to the hospital for my sister-in-law and my nieces . My first bite into the sub I break off a front tooth. Now we got it going, what else could happen on this visit.

My brother is recovering nicely, my father is getting better and I got my tooth fixed. And I just found out I won the NJ lotery for 7 bucks. Things are looking up.

The Dignity of Mothers and Wife's and Daughters

It nice to see that the lady's are having just as much fun as the guys.

Ring- Ring- Ring

Hello, is this Uncle Willie of the famously popular Willie's World

Yes it is.

Uncle Willie my name is Joe Beggar and I am calling for the campaign of -------. You know how much money it is going to cost to run a campaign against the evil Re--. And we were wondering if you could pledge a small amount to help..........

You can stop right now. Although I will be voting for your candidate right now I am in a little money crunch and cannot afford to send you any money. But in the future if I can I will surly send you a donation.

How about sending in just 50 dollars.

I can't afford that right now I have to take care of my family. Things are a little tight. Like I said when things get better I will surly donate.

Well how about 25 dollars?

I can't afford it right now.

Can you send 10 dollars.

HELLO, what did you not understand what I said about having no money.

Well thank you and have a nice day.


Someone please help me. When I say I have no money that means I have no money to give. That doesn't mean if you keep asking me I will suddenly have money.

Driving Hell

My wife and I will be driving to New Jersey to attend a couple of graduations and a confirmation. One of the special parts of the trip will be the drive. Not the drive itself but the interaction between my wife and I. She hates the way I drive and I can't stand the way she drives. So when I drive it's "Are you going to drive up that person ass". "Are you trying to get to New Jersey in 2 hours, slow down". She is constantly hitting the imaginary break pedal every 5 minutes. "Are you ever going to get out of the left lane"? One of her survivor techniques is to fall asleep for 7 hours.

Now when my wife drives I am the teacher, I am showing her the correct way to drive. "You should always keep 1 car length for every 10 mph you are traveling". Or one of my favorites is "Look ahead about a 1/2 mile, you can avoid a lot of trouble by doing that". "Hands should be at 10 and 2 on the wheel". And the peace de resistance is when I say " I know what I am talking about I was a professional driver". That is the topper. Nothing will bring the red face of rage to my wife's face quicker that that phrase. I often wonder what people in the cars around ours are thinking when they see to adults screaming at each other for about 100 miles. But we do get to our destination without any blood being shed.

Why do you all hate me

OK, I have spent my time writing these wonderfully amusing posts and guess what, NO Comments. Do you people really hate me that much and want to see me in the most disgusting mood. I check every hour and what do I find, nothing. I just want to scream. But you know what I am just some pieces of crap that can be flushed down the toilet. Have a nice day. Your piece of sh-t pal.

12 Items Not 13

You know what bugs me. People who go to the express lane in the supermarket with more than 12 items. Don't these people know that they, the supermarket people, have set this number so people with 12 items or less don't have to wait in line behind someone who is buying food for the week and they only have a couple of items to purchase. The sign does not say about 12 items it says 12 items. I guess I am one of the knucklehead who counts my items to make sure I am following the rules. If I have 13 items I will move on the the regular lanes and probably get behind a person who is doing their 6 month shopping for the family of 10. I start to steam when I am behind a person that has say 16 items and I have a box of toothpicks. Some people feel guilty and say "oh its only over a couple of items you can go before me". Thank a lot jerk wad ,if you were not in the 12 item lane there would be no need for the apology. And I could have been out the door on my merry way. I wish the cashier would say to these people "You will have to go to the regular check out because you do not seem to know how to count". Oh it would be a grand day in Willie's world. To all the people who go to the express lane with one too many items I would like to say You suck- you know count item-trying to get up on someone-can't read the sign A holes.

I Like The Mother's

In the late 60's and early 70's, just about every Saturday, a group of friends use to travel to NYC, and into the village to go to the Fillmore East. We would all get tuned up a tad and go and listen and watch some of the classic rock groups of the that era. Groups like Chicago Transit Authority,( later none as Chicago)Big Brother and the Holding Company with Janis Joplin, Allman Bro.Band, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Humble Pie, Procol Harum and Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. The Mothers of Invention were one of my favorite groups. I just love there music and satirical lyrics on their many albums. So it was quite a thrill for me at a Ten Years After concert we were attending to see the Mothers standing in the lobby, and no one around them. So our group heads over to say hello. Well these guys couldn't have been nicer to a bunch of kunckleheaded fans. My friends wife asked them if they were ever in Iselin New Jersey to stop over and say hi. They said they would. We said that we had seen them on the Mike Douglas Show the previous week. They all asked us how they looked on the show. We all said "very cool man". They were just a bunch of nice guys living their dream. And it was nice to meet them. But they never did get to Iselin.

Here is a Mothers song for all you mothers

School Dances

When I was a lad of maybe 15 or 16 the township use to have dances 2 or 3 time a week. It was usually at one of the schools in the township. It seemed that every kid in the township would attend these dances. This was a great time because there were going to be girls there. And at that time in my life they were on my mind only about 23 hrs a day. This is were I developed my technique of slow dancing with a undetected erection,( which I had 23 hrs a day also) at least I hope so. I would just push my butt out and bend my knees a little. I looked kind of like Groucho Marks when he did his crazy walk. Any who all my friends would go and it was a great time. I would never dance to any fast songs, just the slow ones. When I tried to dance a fast one I looked like I was having a epileptic episode. Now as a adult I dance every song at any affair. As you get older you do not give a crap about how bizarre you look you just want to have a good time.

The inspiration for writing this post is that a friend who was cleaning out her attic found a trophy(the picture is the actual trophy) that she had won, at one of these dances, in a dance contest. Her partner was a guy that use to be a peripheral character among the people we use to hang with. His name was Walter Franks . Walter was the only one, as I was growing up to start wearing a watch at 4 years old. When Walter turned 17, in New Jersey at the time that is when you got your licence to drive, he got a brand new Chevy Impala convertible. He always wore the best clothes, with his sleeves rolled up so perfectly on his long sleeve shirts. I always admired that, how he got them to fold so perfectly. I think he just wanted to show off his expensive watch. The one flaw that Walter had was that he was about 4 foot tall and had this very high pitched voice, sort of Munchkinesk like. I sometimes wonder now where Walter ended up. Maybe coming out of a small car at the circus with all of his buddies. I just don't know. Any way the dances were a wonderful time in my youth. And I think of them sometimes when ever I get a erection.

Here is a clip of the Marks Brothers that has Groucho's walk in the begining.

Report from New Jersey

The ride down to Jersey was just a joy. Instead of taking my usual route I decided to take a short cut someone told me about. It was a real time saver instead of taking 8 hr it was a 10 1/2 hour nightmare. I forgot how much I loved to drive in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. And to make things just a little more fun, my wife kept saying every 3 minutes "Why in the world would you go this way". Blood pressure up another notch.

We finally arrive at our friends home and start the cool down. My friend asked me do you want a beer? OK. Do you want another? OK. The husband comes home from work. How about a shot of Tequila? OK, Want another? O Tay. I am starting to feel this. Then it's off to the restaurant for some food. "Can I get you something to drink" the waitress says. "Sure bring me a beer" I say. One more beer and our dinner and we are out and on our way to our friends home. Into bed for a good nights sleep. But nooooooooooooooooooo. How about a little acid reflux , thank you very much. But eventually I did fall asleep.

The next day we head out for our first affair, a confirmation. It is my wife's cousins kid. There was a get together after at this great Italian restaurant. Great food, great conversations with people I had not seen in a while. And lots of screaming kids running around for 4 hours. I thought I was going to go nuts. They were so loud and boisterous I could not think. And what were the parents doing while these wild crazy kids were terrorizing the adults. Nothing, as long as the kids weren't killing another child or killing themselves they were just oblivious. I just wanted to find a rope, find a nice sturdy beam and hang myself. But we got thur it and we only have 3 more affairs to go. I hope I make it.

Check Out ...The Fox Is Wrong

Once again Fox News is proven to be the most bias news channel on the tube.

McCain/Bush Challenge

Take the McCain/Bush challenge see if you can get all the answers correctly.

A Word from Your Pal

I'll be away for a week, but that does not mean that you won't get the wonderfully enlightened posts that you all are use too. So come back everyday for you fill of this crap. I'll be back live on Monday the 19th. I'll be thinking about you all. Your Pal.

PS Last night my wife and I were driving pass the YMCA and spotted a moose in the field next to the Y. So watch out for the moose crap.

Vacation by the Go Go's

The Orgasmic Duck

Even Disney characters have sex.

Warning this may not be appropriate for young children or adults who are easily offended.

Evil Kicking It Up

Home-truck-Y-Pay-Workout room-Evil-smiling-trouble-Jim-Heidi-Belfast Bay Festival Broiler Queen-sash-pictures-Dede-Mary-Polly-Polly's son-good hair-good music-work out-hard-harder-hardest-heart attack-sweat-cool down-put bikes away-talk-truck-home.

I Just Want to Read About ME

I found out today that a person the I like and respect very much is not reading every single word in every post. I won't mention her name i'll just refer to her a ESG. Well from now on I may put a reference to ESG in every post. This I think will get her to read all of the words of wisdom from your Pal. Thank you and good night.

Drop the Power Tools and Step Back

My wife has been after me to build a table so that she can keep her sewing machine out and available any time she gets the urge to use it. OK, how hard could that be. Well if I was a carpenter it would be a breeze, but I am not. Every time I do a project I come away with a real admiration for people with these kinds of skills.

The space that the table is going into is sort of L shaped. One end will have to fit between two walls. So I measure the space and I allow 1/4 inch on each side, in case the wall is not straight. I measure this space 5 or 6 times and put the measurements on a piece of paper. Now I have plan what can go wrong. Off I go and start to build it. I even had to go to a friends house, who is a carpenter to help me put it together. The first thing he asked me was did I allow for a wall that is not straight. And I say "get outta town of course I did".

We build the table I bring it home and get ready to drop it right into the space. First try its a little tight, so down to the garage to sand down one corner. I just want to say right here that the table weights about 50 pounds and to get to the garage I have to go down 2 sets of stairs. I sand it down lug it up the stairs again, drop it in, still a little tight,down to the garage,sand bring it up, drop it in. Still needs to be sanded. Back down to the garage,sand, bring it up. drop it in , won't fit. now I get out the circular saw. Cut down a corner, sand, drag it up, drop it in, still won't fit. After about 5 more trips down to the garage it finally falls into place. But now I have to repaint the walls because of all of the forced fittings. It looks pretty good except for one corner that I cut about 1 inch to much.

A Carpenter song for you.

Cat Catastrophe

This is the sickest little clip that I have seen in a long time. What kind of a mother would allow this kind of behavior. She must be a real sicko or maybe she is just one of those Belfast Bay Festival Broiler Queens weirdos. I just don't have a clue.

Lowe's Revisited

Well my wife and I returned to Lowe's yesterday because the charges were still not right. Lowe's instead of canceling and re billing our dishwasher purchase, as told in yesterdays post, they doubled the charge. We were now paying for 2 dishwashers. So back we go to straighten this out. It took about a 1/2 hour to make things right but got it done. One upside to our story is that Lowe's gave us 10% off on purchases we could make yesterday. So we purchased our bathroom tile. Sometimes problem pay dividens.

Here is Lowe's Flooring Rap for your pleasure.

Today I Spent a Week at Lowe's

I first want to congratulate Heidi for having the correct answer to our tough question.
OK yesterday my wife and I wanted to something really special so we went to the opening of the Lowe's store in Thomaston. We were looking to redo our bathroom and since you could get 10% off on all purchases, for opening a Lowe's credit card, we went on over. We looked around the store and found a vanity and sink combo and a dish washer, who's name was Martha. Just kidding we intend to redo our kitchen next and we need a new dishwasher as ours ,when running, has the same sound level as a 747 at take off. We also looked at some tiles. We found one we liked and the salesman told us we could take a sample home and see how it looked in our bathroom.

So we first bought the vanity and then the dishwasher. Both sales persons gave us a receipt and told us to fill out a application for a Lowe's credit card. And when you check out they will give you the 10% discount. All you have to do is tell them your telephone number. OK, at this time we had spent about 1 hour and a half in the store. So we go over and fill out the credit card application. We fill it out and hand it to the person who is processing the application. But someone comes up and asked a question and the women who was processing our appplication starts to take care of their problem leaving us sitting there with our fingers up our hoha. When she finally gets around to finishing up ours it was about 45 minutes. She then says go to the cash register and show them the paperwork and they will check you out. Simple right? Wrong.

We go to the register and give our crap to the cashier and she looks like she just started 10 minutes ago. She is fumbling and calling over managers and other cashiers and asking everyone in site a question. After 20 minutes, with people behind us leaving our line like rats leaving a sinking ship, she finally hands us our receipt. Well holy crap there is no 10% discount. She calls over the manager. The manager tells us to go over to returns, have the clerk cancel the transaction and then redo it with the 10% discount. OK off we go. Hand the women our crap, tell her our story and she is real confident about fixing our problem. I start to feel that we may finally get out of Lowe's. But no the wheels start to come off again. She pounding the keys of her register like someone playing the minute waltz. Then it was fumbling and calling managers and the other employees. Well I want to tell you that it took another hour to get it all straighten out. At that point I had been at the store so long , 4 people came up to me asking if I knew the price of some items. I feel that I know what it's like to work at Lowe's. I hope they smooth things out because spending a half a day in Lowe's is not cool.

New Contest

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