Don't You Want to be a Super Dupper Pooper

This is little instructional video for everone.Plus a bunch of snappy tunes.

WoW .......The First Willie's World Contest

Yes, that's right people the first of many to come contests. This contest will make sure that you have read all of the early post. Did I hear someone say "what will we win if we answer all of the questions"? Well quite frankly I haven't gotten that far alone in the planning of this, but there will be something. OK here you go.

1. What kind of animal were the first two posts about?

2. In the post Waiting what was I waiting for?

3. In the post, My Spin Instructor is Trying to Kill Me, what is the last quote on the picture of the tombstone?

4. What kind of head did the giraffe have in the post Mutant Giraffe's at Our Borders?

5. How is incorrectly misspelled in the post Spel Cheik?

6.At the end of the post Groom That Ear what will you get in your mouth?

7.What two teams is the post llabooF egelloC about?

8.What is the upside to senility?

9.In Polly Wants a Coffin, what is the name of the parrot who died?

10. Who sang the Monster Mash?

There you have it. Exciting isn't it? So get cracking and send in those answers to Comments.

Pregnant in Spin Class......Should she pay a double fee?

I hear by decree that anyone who is in spin class and is with child shall no longer be called a interloper. And this will go out to all the spin world to be written in some kind of place were these things are written if there is such a place. And she will be welcomed into the secret spinning society.

I so decree, the spin mistier general your Pal .

Gee, you have gone over to the dark side on this spin thing Uncle Willie.

Timmy someone has to take control. Without order there is kayos.

Your really creeping me out this time Uncle Willie.

Timmy would you like me open a can of whipass for you?

To Be a Republican You Need to Believe

This was sent to me from a friend in New Jersey and I am passing it on to you.

1. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him , a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Viet Nam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

4. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq .

5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational drug corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet .

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

16. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80's is irrelevant.

17. Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

State of Wha................................................

ATTENTION BONUS POST

I am sure everyone watched the State of the Union address last night I know I didn't. But there is a game that sounds like it would make the State of the Union address seem, well, fun. It is the State of the Union Drinking Game 2008 The Last Word. This was brought to my attention by Jeremy at Jeremy's Sametime Status and I just couldn't help but to pass it along to the readers here at the Willie's World. Tip-0-Hat Jere. Don't forget Jeremy's other location Jeremy's Status Message visit it as many times as you can, you won't be disappointed. It's intelligent, funny and imaginative.

Good Bye Old Friend

Goodbye old friend we hardly knew ye. I'm not talking about a person I am talking about my old wallet, or as it was refereed to "The Giant Wallet". It has been a good friend over the years. It has held pictures of love ones, held my cash and credit cards and many small slips of paper with telephone number on them from people that I don't know any more. My wife bought this wallet for me, it was a Marino Oriandi with a zipper that closed it up. It was made of beautiful fine leather, but there was one thing about the wallet that was both good and bad. It was about 1 inch bigger all around than any other wallet that I have ever seen. The good part about that is that is held a lot of crap. The bad part, for me, is that I had a hell of a time getting it out of my pants pocket. The good side to that is it saved me a lot of money when we had gone out to dinner. When it came time to pay the check it was always the person who could grab their wallet and put down the cash or credit card the fastest. With the giant wallet it was not a easy thing to extract my wallet from my pocket, so I was never the the fastest.

But the wallet ,beside saving me money over the years it also was a embarrassment as well. One example of this took place on the New Jersey Turnpike. When I was working I would take the turnpike home ever day after work. Usually what I did was to take the toll money out before I got to the toll so I could get home as quick as possible. But there was this one time where I pulled up to the toll and I had to get my giant wallet out to pay. As the toll taker extended his hand to except the toll I tyred to get my giant wallet out of my back pocket. Well I just couldn't do it . I tyred and tyred for maybe 45 seconds, which seemed to me to be hours. I kept struggling and struggling all the while the toll taker is looking at me like I am some kind of mental patient. It was like I was wrestling with myself, and I was losing. I finally had to take my seat belt off and climb out of the car take the giant wallet out of my pocket and pay the toll while 50 cars were backed up behind me. I tyred to make light of the situation but the toll taker just looked at me with pity and this little half smile that indicated to me that he had his story for the day to tell his buddy's about. "Yea, you should have seen this knucklehead with a this giant wallet today".

I am going to miss the giant wallet it has been a friend for along time. Now with my new wallet I probably have to pick up the check a couple of times . Dam it!

Scrumpdelicious

Friday January 25, 2008: Let start off with a delicious cheese filled burrito just oozing with cheese, then we move on tortellini with a rich tomato sauce ,yum. Then we go to a cheese and spinach pizza, oh boy. Our next delite is some wonderful sharp cheddar cheese. Then we make our way to a very creamy havarti cheese, so good. Then we move to very wonderful tasting pesto and crackers, superb. Then onto a beautiful 3 grain bread, that was baked just right. Then came a snack of wonderful bread sticks dipped in to a honey mustard mix. Just great. Moving on we delighted in a habinaro pineapple dip, that was both sweet and hot, that was to die for. Topping this all off was a wonderfully sweet tasting pineapple slices. This was my wife and I making our way through BJ's and Whole Food Store on Friday tasting free samples. So good and so free. If you have no money and want to take your special gal or guy out for some great food and you are broke, well Bon Appetit .

Stupid Quotes

"If you think is was an accident, applaud." - Geraldo Rivera, talk show host, to his audience on Natalie Wood's drowning

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." - Shaquille O'Neal, basketball player, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece

"Hi I'm Dean White, Dick, of the college." - Richard (Dick) White, Duke University academic Dean introducing himself at a faculty dinner.

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding." - Mickey Rivers, baseball player

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version." - Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

Notice to All And Especially to Kate AKA Blaise

This is an open letter to all who have come to me and mentioned my spelling and punctuation and that sentences go on and on and on and on and on and on forever I think that I am doing find and I think that anyone who reads this blog knows what I am talking about and can keep their yaps shut because I think that a guy who never took school as anything more then some place to sleep and meet friends is doing pretty good with his writing now it maybe at a third grade level but I am getting along just fine so please give me a break and you be careful to dot every i and cross every t because I just don't have the time nor do I give a dam because I just think it is re-goddam-dicules have a nice day.

Hold Your Ears the F-Bomb Just Went Off

Dana Jacobson of ESPN recently found herself in trouble because of inappropriate comments. Ms. Jacobson the co-host of "First Take" on ESPN2 is serving a 1 week suspension for remarks she made at a roast for ESPN radio personalities Mike Greeberg and Mike Golic.

Jacobson reportedly said "F**k Notre Dame," "F**k Touchdown Jesus," in trying to trash talk Mike Golic, a former Notre Dame football player.

I deplore this kind of f**kin language and I will call attention to this sh*t at every f**kin turn. This son of a bitch should go straight to hell for saying that sh*t. Well Dana, f**k you and the horse you rode up on.

Have pleasant day everyone.

The second worst person is a about the above post.

LATE BREAKING BONUS POST........... John Gibson will be the funnest guy in HELL.

Why is it that this knucklehead, John Gibson of the Unfair and Unbalanced network, still has a job. If he worked at any other station he would have been fired years ago. This is not the first time he has said something inappropriate, this was about the death of Heath Ledger. He does this daily.
Go here to Newshounds for the Common Good for more words of wisdom from Mr Gibson.

He made Kieth Olbermann's list.

Tupper who!

Here's the picture. Archaeologist are digging in the Rockport area. They reach a level where they discover thousand's of plastic containers and their tops. Guess what, they are digging where my home use to be. My wife has a giant collection of Tupperware for all occasion. We haven't used half of them, but somehow we need them all. And if I make a suggestion about throwing any of them out. Well there is all hell to pay. And if that is not crazy enough, anytime we get anything in a plastic container she washes it and it is added to the collection.I won't be surprised if when I am ready for the dirt bed that I am sealed in a Tupperware container. And the last thing that I will ever hear is it being burped.

I Found Lost

We, my wife and I, were having dinner with friends of ours and we started to talk about TV programs that we liked. One of the shows that our friends really liked was the program Lost. We had never seen it, but we had heard that it was really good. Our friend said that it would be hard to pick up now because of all of the plot twist and different characters on the show. So she said if we are interested she has the first three seasons on DVD and would we be interested in borrowing it to catch up. So we said sure and got the e DVDs.

One and half weeks later this program has dominated our lives. There is no free time there is only Lost. Each season is on 7 disks with 4 episodes per disk. Each episode run, with out commercials, for 45 minutes each with bonus items at the end. There are three season so that comes to about,let see 3 time 6 carry the 12 add 14, about 4 years of viewing as far as I can figure. This is all my wife and I do now, we watch Lost. It is our life. Any who the plot line of Lost is as follows:
Lost follows the lives of plane crash survivors on a mysterious tropical island, after a passenger jet flying between Sydney, Australia and Los Angeles, crashes somewhere in the South Pacific. Each episode typically features a primary storyline on the island as well as a secondary storyline from another point in a character's life. The series is one of the most expensive on television.

My wife and I now have a quest to finish catching up before the new season starts on January 31st. If you don't see or hear from us don't panic ,we could be lost in Lost.

Here is the trailer for Lost.

Dumb and Dumber.........Willie's World Pick

Dumb and Dumber is a comedy film starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, released in 1994. It is a prime example of a classic "road movie" and includes slapstick comedy and gross-out humor. Dumb and Dumber contributed to the launch of a great career for Jim Carrey. It has a devoted cult following. It is one of my favorite movies. If you like to laugh like a frigging hyena, and I know I do, this is the one for you.

Here is a funny clip that Jim Carrey doing the most annoying sound in the world routine, which was not in the script, he improvised it on the spot.
In the clip Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels pick up a man who was hired to kill them. And they annoy the crap out of him.






If you like or if you dislike this or any of your pal's movie picks,let me know, because I will do absolutely nothing.

Martin Luther King Jan.15,1929 – April 4,1968

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Charles Dickens opening line of the Tale of Two Cities perfectly describes my feelings watching the AFC and NFC playoffs. The best of time was watching my team the New York Giants beat the Green Bay Packers for a birth in the super bowl. The worst of times was watching the New England Patriots beat the San Diego Chargers. The Patriots coached by Bill (I had my personality removed at birth)Belichick did not use the video cameras this time to cheat, I think. They are a great team that I hope will lose on February 3rd, if there is a God. All I can say is
GO BIG BLUE.

Facts, who needs facts said Bill O'Reilly.

Bill O'Reilly once again openning his big mouth about something he knows nothing about. Here is a Robert Greenwald film about what O'Reilly said about homeless vets.
Bill O'Reilly and Fox News a perfect match.

Here is the statstics from the United States Department of Veterans Affairs

Chicken Abuse.....What's Next....Eating Them?

Tyson Foods is going to investigate claims of chicken abuse allegations by the animal-welfare group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). PETA said an undercover investigator for the group had video documentation of workers throwing live chickens and yelling fly you bastards, making them watch The Fox New all day, putting boxing gloves on the chickens and then challenging them to a fight,making them stare at a picture of Colonel Sanders, dragging a chicken first in a plate of seasoned flour then into a bowl of egg wash and then in to a plate of bread crumbs right in front of the other chickens, putting up a net and playing volley chicken, making them write a short story and then yelling at them for their penmanship and spelling or as the tormentor's say, that it look like chicken scratching. But the worst possible torture is that they are not letting them cross the road to get to the other side. It was just horrible.

Spin Doctors

This is another story that involves the interlopers in spin class. Yes, this group of people who are messing with my schedule. They are speed bumps for me and my peeps in spin class. Before they invaded the class you had many bikes to choose from, plus you could get their minutes before the class and still have no problem in getting a spot. Now I am forced to get to the class a 1/2 hour before it starts. They don't know that I have a reputation to uphold. When I was working I was know as the "minute man". The handle was bestowed on me because of my uncanny habit of reporting to work at the exact second of my starting time. It was badge that I wore proudly. Well any who, these people are screwing with my reputation.

This group of interlopers are peppered with Doctors, I believe there are about 4 or 5 in class. The reason I know this is because as I was putting the bikes away after class, a women in front of me was getting an exam, for some kind of wrist problem, by one of these doctors. Whats next, the spin goddess Amy saying "OK add more tension and turn to the left and cough" or " drink a lot of water because we need a urine sample after class". I just hope there is a proctologist in class so I can have these hemorrhoids looked at, they are a pain in the ass. I'm sure the doctors won't mind. The rest of the class could be disgusted, but they just love me so much they'll just over look this.

Isn't that right?

Hello people, isn't that
right?.....................................................................................................

Ok maybe they would be a little disgusted.

Say These Three Times Fast

1 Willy's real rear wheel

2 Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?

3 Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.

4 Red leather yellow leather.

5 Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.

6 Tie twine to three tree twigs.

7 Three short sword sheaths.

8 Green glass globes glow greenly.

9 Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.

10 We're real rear wheels.

Once you untie your tongue and clean up the spittle you can go here and find 400 more. While I have to figure out how can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

If your from New Jersey you know..............

Some one sent this to me and I am passing it on to you all.


New Jersey is a peninsula.
Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida.
New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as metropolitan areas.
New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky.
New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi.) than Havana, Cuba.
New Jersey has the densest system of highways and railroads in the US.
New Jersey has the highest cost of living.
New Jersey has the highest cost of auto insurance.
New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the nation.
New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the "Diner Capital of the World."
New Jersey is home to the original Mystery Pork Parts Club
(no, not Spam): Taylor Ham or Pork Roll.
Home to the less mysterious but the best Italian hot dogs and Italian sausage w/peppers and onions.
North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius.
New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.
The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John P. Holland .
New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the nation's most famous: Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape May.
New Jersey has the most stringent testing along our coastline for water quality control than any other seaboard state in the entire country.
New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals.
Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy.
New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and cranberry production (and here you thought Massachusetts?)
Here's to New Jersey - the toast of the country! In 1642, the first
brewery in America, opened in Hoboken.
New Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric guitar in Mahwah, in 1940.
New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth. Nearly 80 percent of what our nation imports comes through Elizabeth Seaport first.
New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports
(in Newark), Liberty International.
George Washington slept here. Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington.
The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture
projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory.
We also boast the first town ever lit by incandescent bulbs.
The first seaplane was built in Keyport , NJ.
The first airmail (to Chicago) was started from Keyport, NJ.
The first phonograph records were made in Camden, NJ
New Jersey was home to the Miss America Pageant held in
Atlantic City.
The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on its playing board after the actual streets in
Atlantic City.
And, Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world,
not to mention salt water taffy.
New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East countries.
The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the
Watchung Mountains.
New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world. (Union, NJ!!!)
New Jersey had the first medical center, in Jersey City
The Pulaski SkyWay, from Jersey City to Newark, was the first skyway highway.
NJ built the first tunnel under a river, the Hudson
(Holland Tunnel).
The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ, which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra.
The first intercollegiate football game was played in New Brunswick in 1889 (Rutgers College played Princeton).
The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ,
(but they're all gone now!).
New Jersey is home to both of "NEW YORK'S" pro football teams!
The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson, NJ.
The first FM radio broadcast was made from Alpine, NJ, by Maj. Thomas Armstrong.
All New Jersey natives: Sal Martorano, Jack Nicholson, Bruce
Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifah, Susan Sarandon, Connie Francis, Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick, Sarah Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, Marilynn McCoo, Flip Wilson, Alexander Hamilton, Whitney Houston, Eddie Money, Linda
McElroy, Eileen Donnelly, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman, Jerry Lewis, Tom Cruise, Joyce Kilmer, Bruce Willis, Caesar Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T, Nick Adams, Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny DeVito, Richard Conti, Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Joe DePasquale, Robert Blake, John Forsythe, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper, Admiral Wm.Halsey, Jr., Dave Thomas (Wendy's),
William Carlos Williams, Ray Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Bob Reyers, Paul Robeson, Ernie Kovacs, Joseph Macchia, Kelly Ripa, and, of course, Francis Albert Sinatra and "Uncle Floyd" Vivino and Martha Stewart.

The Great Falls in Paterson, on the Passaic River, is the 2nd highest waterfall on the East Coast of the US.
You know you're from Jersey when . . .
You don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges."
You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.
A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.
You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk,
at 3 A.M.
You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and
you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
You know what a "jug handle" is.
You know that WaWa is a convenience store.
You know that the state isn't all farmland.
You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey--there's the shore--and you don't go "to the shore," you go "down the shore." And when you are there, you're not "at the shore"; you are "down the shore."
You know how to properly negotiate a circle.
You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving.
You know that this is the only "New" state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (try . . . Mexico . . . York ..! . . Hampshire-- doesn't work, does it?).
You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege.
You don't think "What exit?" is very funny.
You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different." Yes they are!
You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton--that's for out-of-staters.
The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
Every year you have at least one kid in your class named Tony.
You know the location of every clip shown in the
Sopranos opening credits.
You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the mall.
You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar, and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood.
It can be no other way.
You weren't raised in New Jersey--you were raised in either North
Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.
You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.
You remember the stores S. Kleins, Haines, Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's.
You also remember Palisades Amusement Park and Olympic Park.
You've had a boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries.
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
And finally . . .
You've NEVER, NEVER NEVER, EVER
pumped your own gas

Is She Really Dead......Does Anybody Have a Wooden Stake?

Maila Nurmi, whose "Vampira" TV persona has died, coroner's officials said. She was 85. Nurmi created her Vampira character to host horror movie broadcasts on KABC TV in Los Angeles in 1954. Among Nurmi's film appearances following her TV career was a cameo in Ed Wood's 1959 cult classic, "Plan 9 From Outer Space." which is on peoples list of films as the worst ever made.

How to kill a vampire here.

Trailer for Plan 9 From Outer Space.

The Farf

The Farf is the nickname of one of my favorite people. I don't call him Farf, I call him Christian or if I am talking to his parents, he is the Boy. I guess our first meeting was when he was probably 2 or three weeks old. He was a cute little kid. As he was growing up he developed a great sense of humor, and I really loved that about the Boy. There was one period in his development, I think that he was about 9 or 10 years old then, that I remember very well. I don't know to this day why he did this, but every time he would see me anywhere he would get me in a headlock. I don't know if that is what I inspire in kids ,that they have an overwhelming desire to wrap their arms around my neck. Maybe, I think that it is the case that , I'm just so dam adorable . I often wonder if it wasn't the Boys headlocks, over a period of years, that caused my hair loss. Anywho, the Boy grew up went to college and is now working in New York City in advertising. And he just got married( I wonder if he put the headlock on his future wife on the first, or waited till the second date) to a wonderful women, so he is doing very well for himself. Now we are all waiting for a little Farf or Farfett to come along soon. I can't wait because I have the perfect name picked out for the little rugrat " SNUBBENS WILLIEFUSS". It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think.

Spinning and Singing

Uncle Willie!

Yes, Timmy what's up?

Don't you think that you spend a lot of time writing about spin class?

No I don't, and if you don't shut up I am going to box your ears.

Jeez what a grouch.

Spinning and Karaoke what a good idea. That would be great for everyone but me. Most of the time I am working out, I am 30 seconds from heart failure. I could not imagine me trying to sing The Four Seasons song Sherry while climbing a grade.

"Sherry" pant pant pant groan groan pant Oh God "Sherry baby" gulp pant pant
snort sniff pant gulp "Sher"- pant-"ry" spit snork humph pant". Someone call
911.

Get the picture. A better combination would be spin and tap or spin and Lambada, if it wasn't forbidden,. Or how about spin and long jumping. Something simple.

Let's All Play with our Twangers

Here is a children show from the UK in the 70's. Why are shows like this not around today. Well grab your twangers and take a look.

What do you mean there is no bike for Your Pal

Well horror of all horrors I almost did not get a bike in spin class today. I'm talking the spin-mistier-general with no bike, god I can't even think about it, it makes me so sad. (You can't see it but I am crying) It's like Joseph not getting a room at the inn. And I want to thank Heidi, Dede and Mary for going out of their way to do nothing to help me get a bike. My buddies. They are like Brutus to my Julius Caesar stabbed three times right through my cycling shorts.

The real problem is the interlopers.The people that I have written about in a previous post here.Oh they think that they are taking over. Well over my knife shredded bike shorts they are. I am right now devising a plan to rid the class of these so called spinner want-to-be's. That's right and it's not going to be pretty. Now where can I get some dynamite and some rope and silly putty, cream cheese, 10 bowling balls and 13 crocheted doilies. Oh this is going to be big. Well I have said enough. Sleep tight interlopers. Heee Heee Ha Ha Ha.( I am laughing that evil Mr Burns kind of laugh)
And thanks again to my fallen angels.

Since You Went Away... Willie's World Pick

This is a movie that I have seen hundreds of times over the years and it is a great one. I had first seen this film when I was a kid. There was a TV channel that I use to watch as a kid. The show,Million Dollar Movie, was on WOR TV channel 9 in New York. They would show the same movie every day, twice a day, for a week. And most of the movies were black and white and from the 1940's and 50's. Some times I would watch the same movie over and over for a week. This movie, Since You Went Away, was one of those movies. It had a great cast with Claudette Colbert,Joeseph Cotten, Jennifer Jones, Shirley Temple, Monty Woolley, Lionel Barrymore, Robert Walker, Hattie McDaniel, Agnes Moorehead,and Guy Madison.

The film tells the story of how a woman copes at home while her husband has gone off to fight World War II. It is funny and it is sad. It brought a tear to Uncle Willie's eyes a couple of times. So if you see this on TMC watch it you won't be disappointed. And if you really like the movie buy it at Amazon, be sure to tell them Uncle Willie sent you and they will do absolutely nothing for you.

Here is the openning of Million Dollar Movie from the 70's.

My Son the Dog

Do you ever wonder why people dress their dogs and other animals in festive holiday dress, or dress them in people clothes? I think that these people are just a half bubble off plum. My very good friends in New Jersey are dog people. What I mean is they like dogs and have a dog, not that they have have been inbred with a dog a la The Island of Dr Moreau. They treat this pooch like he is a kid, a kid that has a wet nose and craps and pees on the floor. Hey, you know what, human kids do the same thing. But getting back to the problem, that is, dressing up their dog. This problem was probably brought on by not playing with enough dolls when they were younger. I don't know what it is but its very creepy. I am including a picture of my New Jersey friends poor unfortunate pooch Kip. Do you think that all dogs long to have a Christmas wreath hanging around their neck. I don't think so. Next for Kip, rabbit ears for Easter.


For other crazy costumed dogs go here.

Real Life is Hard Somtimes

I thought I would share this with everyone because of what my wife and I have been going through this past month. We had been in the process of finding a facility for my mother in law Midge. If you have not gone through this it is quite an eye opener. It's not just going and checking out these facilities, who's patients just seem to lay around waiting to die, it is the feeling that you have failed your parents who raised you and taught you to do the right thing. But there comes a time when you just can't do what you want to do to keep your love ones safe. They just need more care then you are capable of giving. The moment I keep going back to was about a year ago and I was in the house with Midge ,she stopped me and said "please don't ever put me in a home", and I said that I would do what ever I could to not do that. But you never think about how things change and that she would need to be watched 24 hours a day. When I look into her eyes now it breaks my heart that I have failed. But we all must face reality and we have to think about how to keep our love ones safe from harm. With my wife it is doubly hard because she is her daughter and feels the most guilt. I know we are doing the right thing, but we still feel terrible.

Here is one of Midge's favorite songs by the Mills Brothers.

The Republican Channel Fox News.....Unfair and Unbalanced

This may be the reason the Barack Obama and John Edwards are not appearing on the unfair and unbalanced Fox News.

Oh Crap She's Back

Oh the evil goddess of spin, Amy is back from vacation with some new finagled workouts. I bet she spent her time in Pittsburgh just thinking about how she can take us down a couple of pegs.

"How can I mess with their heads".

"With this workout I will reduce all the people in class to an average weight of 50 lbs. So I will be the beautiful spin princess. While they can all get jobs hanging on someones front door as a skeleton for Halloween".

"These knucklehead's will do anything I say. Let see I might make them take the class in a top hat and a clown nose, yea that's it, clown nose".

The goddess has had too much free time on her hands, and that is dangerous for us all. She just keeps pushing the envelope. And where is she pushing the envelope and what kind of envelopes can be pushed with out getting damaged. And where can I purchase this kind of super envelope. Oh well I'm getting off track, but if you see me on the street and my weight is in the 75lb. range I will be taking job offers for Halloween. I wonder if I will have to give the evil goddess a cut?

Another Go Here for Another Simpson Post

If you are a Simpson fan, and you better be, go here.

Simpson Quotes involving Grandpa Simpson

Grandpa: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Marge; Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?Grandpa: I sure hope so...

Mr. burns: so do you have a way to get rid of the protesters?Grandpa: One way to get rid of them is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time we went over to shelbyville during the war, I wore an onion on my belt....which was the style at the time...you couldn't get those white ones, you could only get those big yellow ones.................now where was I........oh yeah, the important thing was I was wearing an onion on my nelt, which was the style at the time, you couldn't get those... (trails off)

Contest for you fans.

If you can name all of the characters in order as they appear in the above picture you could win a special prize from your Pal.

Interlopers In Spin Class

OK what's with all the new people, or interlopers as I call them, that are coming to spin class. They are taking the best bikes, taking our spots on the floor. Spots that we established over time. They don't bring water ,they don't bring towels. THEY think it's a ride down the primrose lane. Where did they come from? I think that they thought that it was going to be easy. So they say to themselves," let's sign up for this class, it is a breeze". Well I think that they will be dropping out soon. And what will make them drop out you say. Me and my band of angels. That's right. when they see how hard you have to work and how hard that my angels, Dede, Mary and Heidi work out, they will be ashamed of themselves for not working out as hard and will either drop out or come to me for counseling and advice. It may sound like I don't want any new people in the class,but that is far from the truth. It's just that they should know their place and respect the ancient art of spinning.


Twenty years ago I was banned from spin class. I was classed as a madman, a charlatan. Outlawed in the world of spin which previously....honored me as a genius! Now here, in the forsaken, spin Hell.... I have proven that I am all right! Home? I have no home. Hunted! DESPISED! Living like an animal! The jungle is my home. But I shall show the world that I can be it's master. I shall create my own race of spin people, my own race of Atomic Spinning Supermen, that will conquer the WORLD!"


Sorry I got carried away a little.





*The last paragraph was borrowed from Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi from the movie Ed Wood.

A Ripoff of Jeremys Sametime Status

I just got this from Jeremy's Sametime Status and I just had to give it to you all. I love this so much. Have fun.

The Worlds Most One Sided Fist Fight.

Floyd "Hard Times" Meade says " Go Gobbler's"

To my buddy Jeremy at Jermy's Status Message, I use the original Virgina Tech mascot the turkey,nick name Gobblers. I can't help it I'm a purest. I'm sure Floyd "Hard Times" Meade would be really disappointed that they are called the Hokies today, what ever that is. What's the matter you got something against turkeys or Thanksgiving or cranberry sauce, apple pie, motherhood or puppy's.

Virgina Tech Gobblers

My condolences to Jeremy for your loss.

VIRGINIA TECH beat Kansas

This is a shout out(I can be a groovy cat and communicate in your hip new language) to my friend Jeremy at Jeremy's Status Message. We all hope that Tech will blowout Kansas in the Orange Bowl.

GO GOBBLER

What Not To Say at the Nursing Home

This is what happen to me yesterday when my wife and I went to visit my mother-in-law in the nursing facilities. We had a nice visit, we talked and my mother-in-law Midge and I watched the Florida/Michigan bowl game. After the visit we got up and were walking out. I spotted one of the people who we talked too when we were looking for information about this facilities. Because of the holiday I was a little mixed up and I said to this women "Boy working on the weekend you are really putting your nose to the grindstone". So my wife and this women say to me " it's only Tuesday". And I said to them "well get my room ready". Well the silents was deafening. Talk about a awkward moment. This women and the nurse who was near by just put their heads down. As I was slinking away my wife looked at me and said "What's wrong with you". I was just trying to be funny that's all. Ha Ha?

Email From Dewitt Cordova

The subject line in the email that I received from Dewitt Cordova says Oh my goodness your penis is BELOW average size, add two or three inches. Well howdy doo what the heck are you talking about. And how do you know that my thing is below average. These are the questions inquiring minds want to know. Also why am I getting these kinds of emails. I know you all remember Thelma Good's email to me. Why are these people so interested in the size of my ding dong. Are they just a bunch of do gooders out to make the world perfect. I just got another email from Rosanna Gregory and Adele McFadden and they both are saying the same thing. Now they are ganging up on me, and I'm getting paranoid. Someone is watching me. Well I have taken steps to try to be a little bit more private. In public restrooms I only use the stalls now and I have taken to wearing 10 pairs of underwear to protect myself. Lastly I would like to thank all three of you for your concern ,but I am happy with the foot and a half that I have.

The Award for the Most Unfunnyest Comedian Goes to JIMMY FALLON

Let me just say that I think Jimmy Fallon is the most unfunnyest comedian I have ever seen or listen too. When I watch him on SNL the ends of my mouth are firmly planted downward, that means that I am not even smiling at anything this not funny person is saying. Am I getting my message across to you all. And don't get me started on his film career. With block busters like The Scheme, wasn't there a nomination for a academy award,not in this life time. Or who can forget Taxi or Fever Pitch. Oh I could go on but there isn't any more.
Maybe its me, maybe as I get older I just don't find his brand of humor funny. But what ever it is someone is pushing this knucklehead along. Maybe he is funny when he is not on camera, who knows. When I googled him there were 146,000 hits and I could only find two posts that said that they did not know why this guy has a career. (I did not go through 146,000 posts) And another thing, while he was on SNL in a sketch, he would upstag everyone by laughing at his own lines. I just wanted to poke my eyes out and stick a pencil into my eardrums. I also read that NBC is considering hiring him to replace Conan O'Brien . If that happens I will block NBC from my TV.
So Jimmy do me a favor and take your money and go live in France were I am sure you will be the next Jerry Lewis. PLEASE!

A hilarious quote from Jimmy Fallon.

I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.

Oh my sides are aching from laughing too much, no it's just appendicitis.